It was the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day ten years ago that the huddle of doctors moved into Sandi's hospital room, surrounded her bed, and dropped the cancer bomb. They knew, without a shred of doubt, that she had cancer and that things did not look good. They just did not know what type. A lot more testing over the next several days soon revealed the fact that she was fighting two different forms of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. That and the damn evil bastards were literally everywhere in her.
It was just after Thanksgiving four years ago that they started losing pain control for her. She had come home that final time the Friday before Thanksgiving and they thought she had anywhere from a month to three months here with us. Though that initial assessment quickly shortened the way things were with her. Once they lost all pain control, she went through a final screaming hell for several days before she lapsed into unconsciousness. Her breathing gradually was quieter and quieter until she passed on December 1.
We got two weeks.
So, today was hard as it always is now for both Scott and I. I tried again this year to cook a turkey and it turned out okay. Read a bit and watched a lot of football. Watched neighbors fool with Christmas decorations and thought again how much she loved all of this holiday stuff and how very much I absolutely hate all of it now.
I only cried three times today over her and that was way better than last year.
The day also marked the first full week with Scott marked the first full week off his anti seizure med so that was a very good thing.
You take your wins where you can get them.
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4 comments:
Small steps. Small wins. Eventually you will get there.
Hope you are right. Still here. Still sober. That has to count for something.
Thanks for sharing this, Kevin. I knew that this has been a bad time of year for you, but I did not know the background and details. You and Scott have been through a lot.
We have and far more than what I talk about.
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