Monday, February 27, 2012

A Sandi Update


I worked retail for more than twenty years and then I subbed for several years before being hired on staff in the local public school system (which in many aspects was just like working retail) so I get that some people are strange.  But, there are limits and the last month has not only made me question a lot of things but to seriously consider walking away from trying to do anything anymore.  Some of that is my worsening health and the strain of things here, but a large part is external.

I have never once written somebody and told the blogger he or she should not write about this or that. It never once crossed my mind to do such a thing. Yet, a number of people in the last month have felt the compulsion to drop me a note privately via e-mail to lecture and castigate me about writing about my Dad and his death,  and, among other things, Sandi and her cancer fight as “folks don’t want to read that” or “shame on you for exploiting your wife to beg for money” and other comments like that. My hands down personal favorite,  “You killed your dad, you are killing your wife, are you going to kill your fu**ed  up retarded ugly sons next?” These are not random folks that just stumbled across my blog. These are actual living breathing people from the various writing/reading lists I am on who have one face in public there and a far different face in private to me.

Really makes me wonder.

On the flip side of things in the last week Sand got two large boxes of yarn from folks who want her to use the yarn to make her chemo hats for donations to her fellow cancer patients.  She was absolutely thrilled to get the boxes of yarn and will do exactly as asked. 

Also appreciated very much were the few donations made by folks this month to hold things together a little bit longer for us. We appreciate it very much. As we do the several folks who e-mailed us over the weekend to ask about her and remind us both that they are praying for us amidst their own very significant troubles. 

For those who have asked in private or just flat out wondered the above is why I have not written much about her the last couple of weeks.  This latest round of chemo has worked her over pretty good. She has had the flu like symptoms nearly the entire time with only brief respites of a day here and there since she had chemo back early in the month. Beyond that, she has been incredibly cold nearly every day. Even on the days when we were nearly 80 here and I could sit outside in the sun while wearing shorts, Sandi was out on the porch in long sleeved outfits with her hat on and several heavy blankets. Several days, Karl and I took turns running blankets through the dryer to warm them up before putting them on her because she was shaking she was so cold.

Whether or not she has been so cold is a sign she is too anemic and will have to have a major blood transfusion tomorrow we don’t know. Round Five of chemo is scheduled tomorrow and Wednesday but I expect she will have to have a blood transfusion and the chemo will be pushed back a week to ten days.  Hopefully not. Hopefully the fact that everything was worse this time around is nothing more than what one expects as the rounds of chemo take a toll on her.

We will find out tomorrow morning…..


Kevin

16 comments:

  1. Wishing y'all the best and don't let eh assholes of the world get to you. If they don;t like what you are writing about then they can spend their internet time other places.

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  2. Pay no attention to those, Travis puts it more eloquently than I, and continue to let us know what's up with your family. We care and wish we could help more than the few bits I've sent.

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  3. Agreed and agreed.

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  4. Thank you one and all.

    I knew there was some risk putting our situation out there back in November when our nightmare started. I knew some would think it was a scam because folks have done that making it hard on everyone else.

    But, I had no idea people would actually e-mail and tell me it was my fault, that they hoped she suffered and died for marrying me, etc. and all sorts of other horrible things. I just don't understand why anyone, even if they didn't like somebody for whatever reason, would feel it was okay to do that sort of thing.

    Kevin

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  5. We continue to pray for healing for Sandi, and for your whole family to see a brighter future.

    I truly appreciate the updates on Sandi and her health. So many here care. Nix the downers!

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  6. Kevin, you and your family remain in all our prayers. Ignore everything else. Hugs.

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  7. Unfortunately, there will always be cruel cretins out there, many of whom undoubtedly consider themselves good and compassionate people. To keep them from getting to you, just remember that karma is a bitch and they'll get what they deserve some day.

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  8. You and Sandi have physical challenges, but your "guts" and "hearts" are solid. People who'd take your misfortunes as an invitation to deal out abuse can't say them same. Hang tough, and--as I never thought I'd have to say to someone living in my old home state--tell Sandi I hope's she's warm enough!

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  9. Clare2e, the doctor said today part of the reason she is so cold all the time is the anemia. I had figured as much. I am very thankful we have not had a repeat of last winter as that kind of cold on top of everything else might have been too much.

    Hanging in as best as we can.

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  10. Oh, Kevin, people can be so cruel. It's your blog, who are they to tell you what you should or shouldn't post here?
    I'm with Barry about the karma: hopefully she'll drop some justice into the lives of those hatefilled people very soon.
    Please give Sandi my best and I'll be praying for your family
    Lori Safranek

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  11. Will do, Lori and thank you.

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  12. Anonymous5:39 PM

    Kevin, raving idiots are like flies. They're everywhere! Swat them or brush them off, and go on about your business. They aren't worth worrying about.

    Have you tried ginger for Sandi's nausea? Several from my breast cancer group swore that a ginger capsule twice a day stopped their chemo nausea. You can usually find them cheap, so it might be worth a try.

    Hang in there! We're rooting for you all. :)

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  13. Thank you, Audrey.

    We have not tried the ginger deal though the blood transfusion seems to have helped with her stomach.

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