Brutal Day

I an exhausted and overwhelmed.

Sandi is not doing at all well.

Her blood sugars are swinging wildly by more than 200 points at times which has caused them to implement emergency procedures to either force it down  before she strokes or force it up because she is about to slide into a diabetic coma.

Her port in her chest has partially shut down. They can still get fluids into her through it, but they can't get blood to come out that way. They think it has been overworked and will resume working correctly in a couple of days. So, when they need a blood sample they now have to take it out of her hand which causes her pain as she has cysts in her hands among other issues.

They are doing breathing treatments which seem to be making her lungs worse. They have confirmed by x-ray as well as by listening to her lungs that the numenitis is definitely back. This means she will be back on oxygen around the clock for the foreseeable future.

Apparently her kidney function is decreasing so she has been placed on diuretics in the hopes that they will start working. In the past diuretics have made this type of situation worse because, for her, they don't work the same way they do in most people. Supposedly they are trying a different one than the ones used before and that means this should work.

Mon day is our anniversary and we mark 30 years. They told her today that without question she will not be home for it. As to when she will be back home where she belongs they made no commitment at all. Beyond the whole infection deal, her body chemistry is getting more and more out of whack as they deal with one thing after another so they have absolutely no timetable at all now for her coming home.

She is still very congested, having incredible coughing fits, running fevers as high as 103 resulting in ice baths, shakes and chills along with incredible sweats, and the dry heaves. She did manage to have a little soup tonight and talked to me for a few minutes before she got too weak.


On top of all this I have just been informed by Social Security that they have decided to review my disability case. I have to assemble some paperwork and full out a form and send this back by a certain date so that somebody, somewhere can make a determination whether or not to do a full scale medical review and mess with my small benefit check.

Our rent is also going to go up by about $317 bucks if we choose to stay here when our lease ends on August 22. They were going to raise it $400 per the letter two weeks ago when I went in and talked to the Property Manager. I explained our situation and other factors and begged for mercy. It took them two weeks to make a decision and pass the word back to her. Instead of 400 they will go up only $317.

We pay about $1165 or so a month now when one includes water and fees on top of the basic rent of $1093 a month. They intend to take us to the alleged market rate of $1410 a month. Add in the water and fees and we will be expected to pay about $1480 or so. Considering that is within about 100 bucks of what Sandi and I get together for Social Security Disability it is not doable. We would have nothing to pay the power bill, the phone bill, to get groceries, or deal with the mounting medical debt. As it is we have wiped out everything we have and every penny that has come in by way of my begging for help here and Sandi's begging on her go fund me deal. We have absolutely nothing and after being here since 1987 through numerous companies and all the rest of it now this.

I have no idea what we are going to do. Even if we had the money to move, the idea of trying to move in the shape I am and the way Sandi is when she is home would be insane. We don't have it and apparently can't stay here.

I have been getting about fours of sleep a night for the last two weeks. I am exhausted, overwhelmed, and I can't fix any of it. My own health is in bad shape and all the stress is not helping me one bit. I have no idea what we did that was so wrong that we have to get dumped on like this. It just keeps coming in huge wave after wave of unforgiving crap. I am so sick of it. It is all too much and has been going on way too long since I got sick and lost my job. 

Enough already....we give.