Review: We’ve Been Trumped edited by Andrew MacRae

Published in September 2016 by Darkhouse Books, We’ve Been Trumped is an anthology of short stories speculating about life after Trump became President. Some stories are set during the president’s first term while others are set far into the future. In either case, most of stories make heavy use of the candidate’s rhetoric during the recent campaign cycle. That means these stories tend to dystopian situations and futures and are not lighthearted reading or humorous despite what it says on the cover.

In addition to not having author bios there is not an introduction to the anthology. The read begins right away with the stories and does so with “Exceptional” by Michael Guillebeau. Set a few years In the future, Trump National Corporation runs everything. Panama was nuked because South America refused to drop the America part of its name. Chihuahuas went crazy in 2021 and the only way to stop them was explosive bullets fired from M-15s wielded by average citizens. There are other glitches. Of course, some folks have to be eliminated to do their part for making America great again.

Kaye George’s tale “Ivanya Figures It Out” comes next and is even further in the future. Things have change a lot since The Imperial Regime was established in 2017. For one thing, everyone born these days has to be named after a member of the Imperial Family. Twelve-year-old Ivanya has been busing tables at Doyle’s diner for three years now. Very glad to have the job the walk to and from work is the scary part of life. One has to worry about crumbling sideways, roving gangs of men since the cops are not around anymore, and other issues. It is the 2040’s and the life is hard, though it could easily be worse. Some folks are lucky and escape to Canada. That might be an option for Ivanya and her mom, but it is incredibly risky.

Readers are taken back to the early spring of 2017 in the murder mystery, “A Feast for Fools” by Joanne Lucas. When the lights came back on in the restaurant in Fresno, California, it was very clear that Trevor Sorenson was very much dead thanks to the knife stuck in his chest. If the Eccentric Gourmet is on the premises to do one of his reviews, the murder could destroy their business. For Dorothy and Jeff, the sister and brother owners, the night of March 31^st is proving far too memorable.

Paul F. has some questions that only President Trump can answer. As the authorized biographer, it should be relatively simple to use the video chat link and speak directly to the President. However, it hasn’t worked that way at all in “The Chat” by Paul Alan Fahey.

Alex works at the White House as a gardener in “Alex in Wonderland’ by KB Inglee. It has been twelve years and he has steadily moved up thanks to those above him being fired. The summer heat is on, but he loves his job. He also believes the man in the White house just might be insane. That thought is reinforced by his latest assignment.  

“The First White House Costume Ball and Other Trumpery” by Diane A. Hadac explains how the event is setup and will commence. Among other items covered is the fact that Vladimir Putin, the unofficial Vice President, will be in attendance, there will be only certain specified allowed costumes, as well as the plans for seating and the food that will be served. It is a weapons friendly event so you are encouraged to bring your guns and use them at will should non-supporters storm the ball. This event as well as the five-step jobs plan, is explained by Billy-Bob Larrabee, gardener and White House beat reporter.

The CIA could be very different under President Trump and Craig Faustus Buck considers some the possibilities in “Trump Towering.” As the story begins, CIA director Brennan is trying to explain to the President why selling B-21s to the President of the The Gambia is a really bad idea. Not only is the President of the African Nation insane, ISIS is advancing and could take the The Gambia. If that happens ISIS would take control over state of the art American bombers. While he does not grasp this problem, maybe the President can grasp the next issue.

With his family out of the way and hopefully safely at the grocery store in town, Lucas “Luke” Pennymore awaits his company. It isn’t long before the Sheriff and the Editor of the local paper show up to hear what he has to say. He has known both of them most of his life. He has quite the tale to tell them in “According To Luke” by John M. Floyd.

Five years after the Zombie outbreak, Zombies these days are not that much a problem now. At this point, with so many of them killed and many others just falling apart, those that remain are usually found in isolated small groups or individually. For professional Zombie Hunter Matt Hix his way of life is going away. After the twin shocks of a Trump Presidency and the Zombie Apocalypse, everything is in flux. Matt has no real future earnings wise unless he does something radically different in “Career Change” by Ross Baxter.

Ever since Trump became President, when Barry makes the donuts, he slaps a dollop of orange frosting on it no matter the kind of donut. Every single donut, no matter the type, gets the dollop of orange frosting. Barry does it because he believes he is an artist and is creating thumbnuts. BK Donut is the only game in town for a real donut so Rudy Calles gave up coming around because Barry had become a crazed Trump supporter. This day he really wanted a real donut and came back in “Donalds to Donuts” by Brian Asman. Coming back may have been a mistake.

Peter Cosgrove does not know where he is or what is going on as “Great Again” by Zed Lawson Edwards begins. After Roger pounds on the door of an office and yells at him a few times, Peter Cosgrove opens the door to find his name and job title stenciled on it. That is the first shock of a number of them in this tale of a world seemly gone mad.

For the veteran in “That Hope-y, Change-y Thing” by Caroline Taylor he made the call requesting the President’s help two months ago. The President had promised to help every veteran personally while he campaigned across the country. Yet, he has not called. Hopefully, the tumor is one of those slow growing ones. Immigrating to Canada is not an option since the Canadians closed the border. All the veteran and his wife can do is wait and continue to show support for the President by posting daily to social media.

A tweet caused the end of the world. President Trump had not been in office two months when he got so enraged by a tweet that he unleashed twelve nuclear warheads on Istanbul, Turkey. That strike resulted in the retaliatory destruction of America in the tale “In the Service of the People” by RJ Meldrum. One does what one needs to do to survive. Bill and Linda do their best, but they are going to need help including a new source of food.

Arizona in July is hot, but that has not stopped the men and machines that are building the wall. Rancher Hank Campbell sees them coming slowly closer as they erect huge prefabricated sections and lock them in place. Some of the locals have been employed by the Border Construction Corps as that is the only work around these days. One such local is Jefferson Scott. Good thing they know each other so there is no need for the military firepower in “Down Mexico Way” by Ring Bunsen.

It is supposed to be an ordinary Saturday for Arlene Clay. Things start a little wrong with the arrival of the delivery person in “Arlene’s Visitors” by Andrew Garvey and never recover. In fact, they get worse when everyone is present and do not believe her true story.

Hearing the President’s voice boom through the barracks isn’t helpful when one is seriously hung over. That is Marissa’s problem as the day starts in “Looking Good, America” by Katherine Tomlinson. At least the new military uniforms are in and nobody will have to wear those awful camouflage pattern outfits anymore. The new uniforms made in China are just part of what is at work in this tale.

Candidate Trump promised to pay the legal fees of anyone who was arrested at one his rallies for punching a protestor. Getting the promised help from President Trump is difficult in “A Phone Call to the White House” by Pat Anne Sirs (Kathleen Rockwood). Unfortunately, the protestor died. The guy who did it has been arrested and is calling from the county lock up looking for the promised help.

The nuclear weapons have also fallen in “Lunch Special at The Trump National Golf Club” by Rachel Cassidy. Food is also an issue here, but at least one survivor has a plan.

Written in a play format, “Pulling Strings in DC” by TL Snow explains how the candidate became President. Manipulating the American People was just a small part of the strategy.

Ernie and his wife, Gloria, have more business than they know what to do with in “Success Story” by Robert S. Levinson. It helps that the name of the business is “WALLS.” The media attention also helps. So does the fact that Ernie has the contract for building the greatest wall the world has ever seen.

Glenn Beck is just one of a number of reporters at the press conference of the Secretary of Defense and Personal Fitness, Josey Callahan. There isn’t just one wall in “The Wall” by Warren Bull. Beck isn’t going to be out of jail for very long after asking a question that he should not have asked in this political climate.

Making sure you have all your papers for the Census Master is vitally important. The night of the census is vitally important. Make a mistake and lose it all in “The Census Master’ By Manuel Alex Moya.

As the chief editor of superlatives and censorship at the Bannon Times, Sarah has a very important job. It takes a lot of her time and that is why her day starts long before dawn in “The Emperor’s New Wall” by Tamar Auber. It is going to be a very important day as the first block of the wall will be unveiled in Times Square. Trump’s America is grand and she has a mountain of misinformation to process.

Educating students in the public schools is far different in “Trumped” by Ronald P. Wolff. It should be the greatest year ever for the students as the new principal has fixed everything. Mrs. Roberts is doing her best to keep the class on track, but her newest student, Mario Hernandez, is not helping.

Life is very hard in “As American as…” by Khomans Ens. It is 2021 and the drought and trade wars have taken a huge toll. This is especially for Sophia and Olivia in their Minnesota cabin though they do have it better than many folks. With Sophie off to her job in Minneapolis moping hospital floors, it up to Olivia to figure out something for dinner out of their meager supplies.

Considering how much money is present during an election cycle to get people to vote for a candidate, would it not make more sense to pay people directly for their vote? A little cash, a signed contract, and a new way of doing business are at work in “Buying Votes” by Don Noel.

The party has to be fantastic according to his assistant, Christina, so Marcos agreed to let her and his wife, Donna, handle all the details. The celebrity impersonators should be a huge hit. However, one such impersonator does not seem to understand what he is supposed to do in “The Impersonator” by Timothy O’Leary.

By order of the President, things are going to be different this year for Flag Day and that means a major hassle for the Secretary to the Mayor, Connie Edwards. Instead of the traditional ceremony for Flag Day held at the front of town hall, this year there will be a parade. June 14^th is no longer to be known as Flag Day as it is also the President’s birthday. Henceforth, the birthday of the President is to be celebrated in every town and city in the United States by way of a parade under very specific and detailed guidelines. Celebrating the birthday is their patriotic duty and everyone needs to get on board and make it happen in “76 Trombones” by Anne-Marie Sutton.

“The Divine & Infernal Top-Secret Mission to Stop the False Apocalypse” by Joshua James Jordan brings the read to a close. Representatives of Heaven and Hell both thought the other side was responsible for Trump. Angels get ambient light from all directions and have to wear sunglasses all the time so they look like the new President. The angels always thought Trump’s hair covered up the horns. This means the Hell Representative, Jason, and the Heaven Representative, Veronica, need to have a private meeting in Limbo to see how to fix the Trump problem.

The stories that make up this anthology run the gamut from the realistic to the surreal. They vary from present day to decades in the future. A number of them have a science fiction angle while a few could easily be classified as fantasies. Many of the stories have tend to dystopian situations and futures and are not intended to be lighthearted reading or humorous. All of the stories to varying degrees share a less than positive outlook about our future-- short or long term. 

We’ve Been Trumped

Darkhouse Books

http://www.darkhousebooks.com

Editor Andrew MacRae

September 2016

ASIN# BO1LZZ8SOO

eBook (also available in print)

248 Pages

$2.99

I was gifted a copy by one of the included authors with no expectation of a review.

Kevin R. Tipple ©2017