So, too is the love expressed by so many. Many of you never knew her expect for reading about her through my blog posts and have expressed your own sorry. I have tried to respond to everyone and say thank you. It has meant so much to me.
If I didn't get back to you, please know I screwed up here and it is not because I did not appreciate your email. A lot of times reading the emails got me crying. Crying as you sit over your laptop is not a good thing. It is also very hard to hit keys correctly when you can't see or everything is very blurry.
I miss her so much. I knew this was coming and had known for quite awhile that losing her was inevitable. And, yet, as much as I thought I was ready, I wasn't. Not by a long shot. I promised her I would go on....though I don't know how I am going to do that.
Books have always been my refuge. Whether or not they can work any magic on me now remains to be seen. For now, as I promised her right before Thanksgiving when we had our last real conversation, the blog will continue. You have seen some erratic updates from me this week as I linked to various things. Next week, guest reviews from Aubrey and Jeanne will resume. I have every intention of pulling something together to participate in Bill Crider day over on Patti Abbott's blog.
Beyond that....I just don't know. I just want the pain to stop. I just want her back. And I know neither one is possible.
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5 comments:
The pain of the loss of a loved one is always profound and will never go away completely, but it will diminish over time and become a great deal more bearable. Take solace from the fact that you and Sandi had the kind of long and mutually devoted union that many couples haven't, let yourself grieve for as long as you must, but recognize too that Sandi would want you to take care of yourself--physically as well as emotionally--for the sake of your sons, your grandson Jacob, and any future grandchildren.
Recognize as well that you have friends you can talk to via the phone and/or Internet. You might also want to see if there are any grief-counseling services in your vicinity.
What Barry said.
Keep on keeping on.
Doing my best. Just having a very hard time with it all. I miss her so much.
No wisdom, just...thinking of you, & of others dealing with profound loss (of whom there are too many, even in my small world). And thinking of Sandi, whom I "knew" only through your words; and of the power of language. Your Dec 22 post on DorothyL (where I "met" you, and via you, Sandi) is evidence of that power. I hope that words will be of solace to you in this bitter time. Yours do have resonance. Please keep them coming.
Thank you.....I am still having a very had time dealing with it as well as talking about it. Words often fail me. Things are not getting any easier.
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