After doing a lot online yesterday, I have not been online at all today except to write this post. We had to run errands today and as part of that we had to pick up prescriptions at the old store Sandi used to work at while she was attending TWU because I have not moved them yet. That meant I had to talk to folks who knew Sandi and cared about her. Trying to tell them and watching them as the shock and pain of the news hit was very hard.
Hearing two different songs on the radio as we came home that were favorites of hers and ones we danced to at our wedding did not help. Nor did seeing an old movie that contained a song that I used to sing to her back in the day as we danced. So, I spent part of this afternoon and evening back in bed, occasionally crying, and missing her so much.
Tomorrow it will be a week. Seven days. It still feels like it just happened.....and it hurts so bad.
I don't think the pain will ever go away. Kevin. But it will become easier to live with as it is slowly pushed into a little corner of your brain by memories of the good times. Meanwhile, keep plugging away. As Sandi showed with defiant courage over this entire nightmare, life is for the living and life is worth living. That, I feel, is something you owe her.
ReplyDeleteIt will get easier but not for a while yet. Try to get out and do things. No place will remind you as much as Sandi as your home. Read at the library. That helps.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, Kevin.
ReplyDeleteThank you all. As I write this, in five minutes it will have been a week. Hell remains in full effect and I am in it.
ReplyDeleteKevin, these songs are Sandi's way of telling you she is in a better place and is watching over you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. It takes a long time, I won't lie to you. But she will always be part of you.
ReplyDeleteThings remain very hard. Lost it in the car dealership Friday as they were doing an oil change on our car. I just keep falling apart--in public and at home. I miss her so much.
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