I very rarely review movies as I am not at all good at it.
My late friend, Glenn Walker, was and did an amazing job at his blog. Glenn
passed just a few days after Sandi did last December making 2017 even worse in
my mind. Glenn’s great blog, “Welcome
To Hell” is still up so you can go check out his many reviews of movies,
television shows, and other things anytime you would like to do so. I suspect
he would have had a few words to say about The Hurricane Heist.
Netflix Synopsis:
“As a hurricane bears down on a coastal town, the U.S. mint
located there faces an additional threat from hackers who’ve infiltrated the
facility to steal millions—and only a storm chaser and a government agent are
left to foil the thieves.”
Scott and I worked our way through this insanely bad movie
Friday afternoon by way of Netflix. One knows that such a premise is going to lead to unrealistic
viewing. But, we had no idea just how stupid this thing was going to be. Think
SHARKNADO without the humor and you have THE HURRICAN HEIST. There are so many
things wrong with this movie if I named them all you would quit reading a third
of the way through reading this review. A couple of highlights will have to
suffice.
The alleged coastal town is Gulf Port, Mississippi as
Hurricane Tammy approaches wreaking havoc at levels far off the charts. Yet,
even with 145 plus mile an hour winds that crumble buildings and rolls/ flips
cars, one of our intrepid heroes is able to move around the streets shooting
her gun at bad guys who are also able to dodge rolling and flipping cars, walk
nearly upright, and fire their guns. At the same time, another intrepid hero is
able to scale an ladder affixed to the side of a building to get on the roof to
climb an additional ladder on the side of a cell tower so that they can pull
down the tower and interrupt the bad guys attempt to establish a connection for
the computers back in the mint.
Hubcaps can be used as a weapon when one is out of bullets.
As the winds howl and flip nearby cars, you can semi stand and throw numerous metal
hubcaps, one at a time, like a Frisbee. It will accelerate, turn, twist through
the air, and hit bad guys. Bad guys will suffer injuries and go down hard. Good
guy has amazing aim.
Also amazing is the fact that almost nobody in the area put
up plywood sheeting or taped their windows and yet the glass nearly always holds.
Glass in doors and windows hold as debris flies through the air with the
greatest of ease. Even the skylights at the nearby mall hold as viewers are
treated to action shots of various things passing by the overhead windows. That
includes at least one flying door, a flying tree, and quite possibly airborne
rocks. Then, in an action scene that is totally beyond any belief and generated
spontaneous laughter here by both of us, things get way worse.
Then there is the whole action scene at the end which is a
long sequence of people running from the attacking hurricane eyewall. Yes, the
hurricane eyewall is coming after them all, bad guys and good, and can be
outrun by way of semi-truck for just so long. Just when you thought things
could not get more ludicrous…they do.
From start to finish this thing is just bad. Plenty of water
and wind, plenty of action, plenty of violence, several family angst scenes, and
more are present in The Hurricane Heist. No frontal nudity which was very disappointing
as the movie would have seriously benefited by a little of that. Like a lot of
action movies, one must detach the brain before viewing.
Kevin R. Tipple ©2018
No comments:
Post a Comment