Thanksgiving Day 2018

Thanksgiving these days has never been the same since 2011. It was back then, after a couple of weeks in the hospital with a collapsed lung and a ton of fluid withdrawals later, Sandi and I would learn she had cancer. It was on Thansgiving Day at around 2:30 in the afternoon when nine doctors and several nurses gathered around Sandi's bed at Baylor Plano to tell us she had two forms of Non Hodgkins Cancer. It was very bad and they were sure that she could beat it.

It was only later when the stem cell transplant failed and they moved her to terminal staus while moving her case to Medical City Dallas Hospital we knew that someday in the not so distant future it would all be over. Sandi made six Thanksgivings which was far longer than anyone expected after the stem cell transplant failed so quickly.

Anyway, Thanksgiving has never been the same and it really was different this year. It was our first one without her and happened just two days after my birthday. A day that passed without Sandi being in my life since the fall of 1980 when I met her all those years ago at Richland Junior College. I am 57 now with a widower withalmost one year under my belt and I am still as devestated and destroyed as I was when she passed on December 1st.

People keep telling me it will get better. It isn't. If anything, it is getting worse.

Today has been very difficult, but Scott and I focused on football and doing various things around here. Sandi always did a turkey with my job being to lift the bird where it needed to go as it moved from fridge to sink to oven and back out again. So, since I don't have a clue how to cook that, we had a ham which I cooked yesterday evening. Pumpkin pie awaits us later this evening for a late night dessert.

It has been a quiet Thanksgiving around here. We miss her, it massively hurts, and yet everything and everyone else goes right on doing whatever like nothing happened. We tried to do something different...to start something new as she would have wnted....but, I don't know that it took.