Sunday, December 01, 2024

Very Hard Day


This has been a very hard day. I knew it would be and tried to ignore things and just treat it like any other. Denial did nothing but made it worse. I should have just stayed in bed and away from people as I have done past years. 

It was at 8:45 AM on December 1st when Sandi passed. 7 years later I still, every single day, having a hard time dealing with her being gone. Holidays, her birthday, and this day is just brutal. Today was one of those absolute brutal days. 

The picture is from a few months before things took a turn for the worse. She was feeling good and we thought she was beating the damn thing. The docs and nurses did too. The mood was upbeat so she was smiling. 

I never thought I would be a widower. I never thought I would still be here so long after she passed. I would give anything to have her back with me. 

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Guest Post: Writing “Barstow” by Tom Milani


Please welcome SMFS list member Tom Milani to the blog today as he explains the background of his short story in the new anthology, Mickey Finn Vol. 5: 21st Century Noir. Published by Down & Out Books, the book is edited by SMFS list member Michael Bracken.

  

Writing “Barstow”


For me, the germ of a story often comes from small things. A crying waitress, an encounter with a cop. Events that in the retelling strike the listener as odd but not necessarily interesting. On a cross-country road trip with a friend, we stayed overnight in Barstow. That night, we had dinner at the hotel bar, and the next morning, we ate breakfast in the adjoining restaurant. Our waitress was having a hard time communicating with a table of customers wearing matching shirts and speaking Spanish. It wasn’t clear from where we sat what had upset her, but before long she was in tears.

Over the years, I’ve been served by a lot of waitresses, but I’d never seen one come close to crying. That memory stuck with me, so much so that when Michael Bracken issued a call for stories for volume 5 of Mickey Finn: 21st Century Noir, I decided to infuse mine with details from that road trip.

The waitress is there, of course, but this time, her tears are the result of a fight with her boyfriend. In my story, recently laid-off Spencer heads west from Virginia, his trip cut short when his car breaks down in Barstow. While he waits for it to be repaired, he hooks up with Emily, the crying waitress, and begins to contemplate a future with her, not realizing that her motivation for being with him is more complicated than he thinks.

There’s more. Remember the encounter with the cop I alluded to earlier? That happened to me in Indiana, and it becomes part of Spencer’s story as well. But to read about that, you’ll have to wait till next year, when volume 6 is released. 


Tom Milani ©2024

Tom Milani’s short fiction has appeared in Groovy Gumshoes: Private Eyes in the Psychedelic Sixties, Illicit Motions, and Janie’s Got a Gun: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of Aerosmith, among other places. “Barracuda Backfire” was published earlier this year as Book 4 of Michael Bracken’s Chop Shop series of novellas. His novel Places That Are Gone will be published next year by Unnerving.