Sandi and Fireflies

Sandi loved fireflies though we rarely saw them at our creekside apartment. When they did appear, she was so happy to see them. One evening after we had moved here to the house I grew up in while she had spent almost the entire summer in the hospital, she had a rare evening when she could go outside for a little while. Scott and I managed to get her outside in the yard where she sat for a few minutes as four or five fireflies danced in the grass. Within a day, she was back in the hospital and I never saw them out here again.

Last summer, there were a few though days would often pass before I saw any of them again. There was one evening when several showed up and I thought for sure I heard her say my name, but it must have been a trick of the wind.

This year there have been quite a few, especially in the last week. As I write this while sitting out in the backyard, more than a dozen of them are flitting around flashing their lights.

I know it is silly, but I like to think of this as her way to say hello and that she is still here in some way. I am looking for signs and I know it is silly. I miss her so much and it is still so very hard.