From the archive….
Published in September 2016 by Darkhouse Books,
We’ve Been Trumped is an anthology of short stories speculating about life
after Trump became President. Some stories are set during the president’s first
term while others are set far into the future. In either case, most of stories
make heavy use of the candidate’s rhetoric during the recent campaign cycle.
That means these stories tend to dystopian situations and futures and are not
lighthearted reading or humorous despite what it says on the cover.
In addition to not having author bios there is not
an introduction to the anthology. The read begins right away with the stories
and does so with “Exceptional” by Michael Guillebeau. Set a few years in the
future, Trump National Corporation runs everything. Panama was nuked because
South America refused to drop the America part of its name. Chihuahuas went
crazy in 2021 and the only way to stop them was explosive bullets fired from
M-15s wielded by average citizens. There are other glitches. Of course, some
folks have to be eliminated to do their part for making America great again.
Kaye George’s tale “Ivanya Figures It Out” comes
next and is even further in the future. Things have changed a lot since The
Imperial Regime was established in 2017. For one thing, everyone born these
days has to be named after a member of the Imperial Family. Twelve-year-old
Ivanya has been busing tables at Doyle’s diner for three years now. Very glad
to have the job the walk to and from work is the scary part of life. One must
worry about crumbling sideways, roving gangs of men since the cops are not
around anymore, and other issues. It is the 2040’s and the life is hard, though
it could easily be worse. Some folks are lucky and escape to Canada. That might
be an option for Ivanya and her mom, but it is incredibly risky.
Readers are taken back to the early spring of 2017 in the murder mystery, “A Feast for Fools” by Joanne Lucas. When the lights came back on in the restaurant in Fresno, California, it was very clear that Trevor Sorenson was very much dead thanks to the knife stuck in his chest. If the Eccentric Gourmet is on the premises to do one of his reviews, the murder could destroy their business. For Dorothy and Jeff, the sister and brother owners, the night of March 31st is proving far too memorable.
Paul F. has some questions that only President Trump
can answer. As the authorized biographer, it should be relatively simple to use
the video chat link and speak directly to the President. However, it hasn’t
worked that way at all in “The Chat” by Paul Alan Fahey.
Alex works at the White House as a gardener in “Alex
in Wonderland’ by KB Inglee. It has been twelve years and he has steadily moved
up thanks to those above him being fired. The summer heat is on, but he loves
his job. He also believes the man in the White house just might be insane. That
thought is reinforced by his latest assignment.
“The First White House Costume Ball and Other
Trumpery” by Diane A. Hadac explains how the event is setup and will commence.
Among other items covered is the fact that Vladimir Putin, the unofficial Vice
President, will be in attendance, there will be only certain specified allowed
costumes, as well as the plans for seating and the food that will be served. It
is a weapons friendly event so you are encouraged to bring your guns and use
them at will should non-supporters storm the ball. This event as well as the
five-step jobs plan, is explained by Billy-Bob Larrabee, gardener and White
House beat reporter.
The CIA could be very different under President Trump and Craig Faustus Buck considers some the possibilities in “Trump Towering.” As the story begins, CIA director Brennan is trying to explain to the President why selling B-21s to the President of The Gambia is a really bad idea. Not only is the President of the African Nation insane, ISIS is advancing and could take the The Gambia. If that happens ISIS would take control over state of the art American bombers. While he does not grasp this problem, maybe the President can grasp the next issue.
With his family out of the way and hopefully safely
at the grocery store in town, Lucas “Luke” Pennymore awaits his company. It
isn’t long before the Sheriff and the Editor of the local paper show up to hear
what he has to say. He has known both of them most of his life. He has quite
the tale to tell them in “According To Luke” by John M. Floyd.
Five years after the Zombie outbreak, Zombies these
days are not that much a problem now. At this point, with so many of them
killed and many others just falling apart, those that remain are usually found
in isolated small groups or individually. For professional Zombie Hunter Matt
Hix his way of life is going away. After the twin shocks of a Trump Presidency
and the Zombie Apocalypse, everything is in flux. Matt has no real future
earnings wise unless he does something radically different in “Career Change”
by Ross Baxter.
Ever since Trump became President, when Barry makes
the donuts, he slaps a dollop of orange frosting on it no matter the kind of
donut. Every single donut, no matter the type, gets the dollop of orange
frosting. Barry does it because he believes he is an artist and is creating
thumbnuts. BK Donut is the only game in town for a real donut so Rudy Calles
gave up coming around because Barry had become a crazed Trump supporter. This
day he really wanted a real donut and came back in “Donalds to Donuts” by Brian
Asman. Coming back may have been a mistake.
Peter Cosgrove does not know where he is or what is
going on as “Great Again” by Zed Lawson Edwards begins. After Roger pounds on
the door of an office and yells at him a few times, Peter Cosgrove opens the
door to find his name and job title stenciled on it. That is the first shock of
a number of them in this tale of a world seemly gone mad.
For the veteran in “That Hope-y, Change-y Thing” by
Caroline Taylor he made the call requesting the President’s help two months
ago. The President had promised to help every veteran personally while he
campaigned across the country. Yet, he has not called. Hopefully, the tumor is
one of those slow growing ones. Immigrating to Canada is not an option since
the Canadians closed the border. All the veteran and his wife can do is wait
and continue to show support for the President by posting daily to social media.
A tweet caused the end of the world. President Trump
had not been in office two months when he got so enraged by a tweet that he
unleashed twelve nuclear warheads on Istanbul, Turkey. That strike resulted in
the retaliatory destruction of America in the tale “In the Service of the
People” by RJ Meldrum. One does what one needs to do to survive. Bill and Linda
do their best, but they are going to need help including a new source of food.
Arizona in July is hot, but that has not stopped the
men and machines that are building the wall. Rancher Hank Campbell sees them
coming slowly closer as they erect huge prefabricated sections and lock them in
place. Some of the locals have been employed by the Border Construction Corps
as that is the only work around these days. One such local is Jefferson Scott.
Good thing they know each other so there is no need for the military firepower
in “Down Mexico Way” by Ring Bunsen.
It is supposed to be an ordinary Saturday for Arlene
Clay. Things start a little wrong with the arrival of the delivery person in
“Arlene’s Visitors” by Andrew Garvey and never recover. In fact, they get worse
when everyone is present and do not believe her true story.
Hearing the President’s voice boom through the
barracks isn’t helpful when one is seriously hung over. That is Marissa’s
problem as the day starts in “Looking Good, America” by Katherine Tomlinson. At
least the new military uniforms are in and nobody will have to wear those awful
camouflage pattern outfits anymore. The new uniforms made in China are just
part of what is at work in this tale.
Candidate Trump promised to pay the legal fees of
anyone who was arrested at one his rallies for punching a protestor. Getting
the promised help from President Trump is difficult in “A Phone Call to the
White House” by Pat Anne Sirs (Kathleen Rockwood). Unfortunately, the protestor
died. The guy who did it has been arrested and is calling from the county lock
up looking for the promised help.
The nuclear weapons have also fallen in “Lunch
Special at The Trump National Golf Club” by Rachel Cassidy. Food is also an
issue here, but at least one survivor has a plan.
Written in a play format, “Pulling Strings in DC” by
TL Snow explains how the candidate became President. Manipulating the American
People was just a small part of the strategy.
Ernie and his wife, Gloria, have more business than
they know what to do with in “Success Story” by Robert S. Levinson. It helps
that the name of the business is “WALLS.” The media attention also helps. So
does the fact that Ernie has the contract for building the greatest wall the
world has ever seen.
Glenn Beck is just one of a number of reporters at
the press conference of the Secretary of Defense and Personal Fitness, Josey
Callahan. There isn’t just one wall in “The Wall” by Warren Bull. Beck isn’t
going to be out of jail for very long after asking a question that he should
not have asked in this political climate.
Making sure you have all your papers for the Census
Master is vitally important. The night of the census is vitally important. Make
a mistake and lose it all in “The Census Master’ By Manuel Alex Moya.
As the chief editor of superlatives and censorship
at the Bannon Times, Sarah has a very important job. It takes a lot of her time
and that is why her day starts long before dawn in “The Emperor’s New Wall” by
Tamar Auber. It is going to be a very important day as the first block of the
wall will be unveiled in Times Square. Trump’s America is grand and she has a
mountain of misinformation to process.
Educating students in the public schools is far
different in “Trumped” by Ronald P. Wolff. It should be the greatest year ever
for the students as the new principal has fixed everything. Mrs. Roberts is
doing her best to keep the class on track, but her newest student, Mario
Hernandez, is not helping.
Life is very hard in “As American as…” by Khomans
Ens. It is 2021 and the drought and trade wars have taken a huge toll. This is
especially for Sophia and Olivia in their Minnesota cabin though they do have
it better than many folks. With Sophie off to her job in Minneapolis moping
hospital floors, it up to Olivia to figure out something for dinner out of
their meager supplies.
Considering how much money is present during an
election cycle to get people to vote for a candidate, would it not make more
sense to pay people directly for their vote? A little cash, a signed contract,
and a new way of doing business are at work in “Buying Votes” by Don Noel.
The party has to be fantastic according to his
assistant, Christina, so Marcos agreed to let her and his wife, Donna, handle
all the details. The celebrity impersonators should be a huge hit. However, one
such impersonator does not seem to understand what he is supposed to do in “The
Impersonator” by Timothy O’Leary.
By order of the President, things are going to be
different this year for Flag Day and that means a major hassle for the
Secretary to the Mayor, Connie Edwards. Instead of the traditional ceremony for
Flag Day held at the front of town hall, this year there will be a parade. June
14th is no longer to be known as Flag Day as it is also the President’s
birthday. Henceforth, the birthday of the President is to be celebrated in
every town and city in the United States by way of a parade under very specific
and detailed guidelines. Celebrating the birthday is their patriotic duty and
everyone needs to get on board and make it happen in “76 Trombones” by
Anne-Marie Sutton.
“The Divine & Infernal Top-Secret Mission to
Stop the False Apocalypse” by Joshua James Jordan brings the read to a close.
Representatives of Heaven and Hell both thought the other side was responsible
for Trump. Angels get ambient light from all directions and have to wear
sunglasses all the time so they look like the new President. The angels always
thought Trump’s hair covered up the horns. This means the Hell Representative,
Jason, and the Heaven Representative, Veronica, need to have a private meeting in
Limbo to see how to fix the Trump problem.
The stories that make up this anthology run the
gamut from the realistic to the surreal. They vary from present day to decades
in the future. A number of them have a science fiction angle while a few could
easily be classified as fantasies. Many of the stories have tend to dystopian
situations and futures and are not intended to be lighthearted reading or
humorous. All of the stories to varying degrees share a less than positive
outlook about our future-- short or long term.
Amazon Associate Purchase Link: https://amzn.to/4aC3eTc
I was gifted a copy by one of the included authors
with no expectation of a review.
Kevin R. Tipple ©2017, 2025
4 comments:
OMG! A book chockfull of Utopian stories! (At least in comparison with our most probable future.)
snickering
Couldn't read this. Now we know who he is better than in 2016.
I did and it was work.
Because we all knew and all saw it, I never thought the majority of voters would put him back into office. I was very wrong about that. While I am perfectly fine with those folks directly finding out that they made a massive mistake, it sucks to be on the same lifeboat with them and suffering the consequences of their stupidity yet again.
It seemed like a good time to run the review again.
I am giving serious consideration to dropping any attempt by me to participate in FFB or the Short Story Wednesday review deals as most of mine are repeats these days as I am just too slow and not getting new stuff read and reviewed.
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