Beneath the Stains of Time: Spent Matches (1996) by Shelly Reuben

Beneath the Stains of Time: Spent Matches (1996) by Shelly Reuben: Shelly Reuben is a New York private detective, arson investigator and an Edgar nominated crime novelist whose goal is to bring " the e...

Aubrey Hamilton Reviews: Pest Control by Bill Fitzhugh

Hardback

Pest Control by Bill Fitzhugh (Avon Books, 1996) has been on my to-read stack for awhile and it finally made it to the top. A commentary on life in New York City, it is also a laugh out loud funny book. Bob Dillon is obsessed with finding the perfect natural pest control method. His goal in life is to own a pest control company that does not use poison and to drive around in a van with a large fiberglass insect on top. To that end, he raises insects that are known to kill other insects and tries to cross-breed them into more perfect killing machines.

In the meantime, however, his wife has lost her job in the savings and loan debacle and he needs to generate some cash. One beer-drinking night he and a buddy create a flyer outlining his exterminating skills and send it with a snapshot to a carefully worded ad they don’t realize has been placed by an international coordinator of hitmen and assassins. The coordinator has been offered a large amount of money to make someone disappear and none of the usual candidates is available or qualified. The coordinator is convinced the photo is that of a hardened killer. (His assistant, on the other hand, recognizes a drunk when he sees one.) He flies to New York from Switzerland and tracks Bob down, who is stunned when he realizes he’s being asked to kill a human. He declines to take the job but when the unwanted person dies a few days later in a traffic accident, the coordinator is convinced Bob was only playing hard to get and sends him a large envelope of cash. The cash would have solved all of Bob’s problems but his sketchy landlord takes the envelope and forgets about it.

Paperback/eBook Cover

Bob’s reputation as an assassin is instantly made, and the CIA attempts to capture this new talent for the Agency’s own. They are awed by Bob’s ability to create deep cover as a middle-class nonentity. In the meantime, the established killers are peeved by the unwanted competition and travel to New York to remove Bob. This comedy of errors goes on and on, only getting more twisted by the page. My favorite bit was Bob leading one of the hitmen through a string of Italian restaurants, where the local thugs resent the interruption of their lunch and take the killer out.

The supporting characters are great. The hitman considered best in the world is depressed and tired of his job but has a gambling habit that consumes all of the substantial money he earns. The hitman coordinator’s assistant is an avid student of couture. Bob’s patient wife is torn between her need for financial security and her love for flaky Bob.

Anyone with a phobia about insects should not read this book, as the descriptions of the bugs and some of their more objectionable behaviors are graphic. I generally don’t care about creepy-crawlies and I found reading some of the details a little unnerving. Otherwise, highly recommended.

·         Hardcover: 312 pages

·         Publisher: Avon Books; 1st edition (December 1, 1996)

·         Language: English

·         ISBN-10: 0380973480

·         ISBN-13: 978-0380973484

Aubrey Hamilton ©2019

Aubrey Hamilton is a former librarian who works on Federal It projects by day and reads mysteries at night.

Bitter Tea and Mystery: A Killing in Quail County by Jameson Cole

Bitter Tea and Mystery: A Killing in Quail County: Jameson Cole: This is a terrific mystery narrated by a teenage boy, Mark Stoddard, growing up in Oklahoma, living with his older brother, Jess, after the...

Aubrey Hamilton Reviews: Dancing in the Dark by Stuart M. Kaminsky

Stuart M. Kaminsky (1934-2009) was a wondrously gifted author who wrote more than 60 mystery novels and several volumes on cinema. Mystery Writers of America awarded him the title of Grand Master in 2006 and the Private Eye Writers of America gave him The Eye Lifetime Achievement Award in 2007. He had four series characters: Lew Fonesca, a sad process server in Sarasota, Florida, six books released between 1999 and 2009; Abe Lieberman, a Jewish police detective in Chicago, 10 books released between 1990 and 2007; Porfiry Rostnikov, a philosophical police inspector in Moscow, Russia, 16 books released between 1981 and 2010; and Toby Peters, a private investigator in Los Angeles whose clients were 1930s and 1940s movie stars, 24 books released between 1977 and 2004.

I read a few of the Lew Fonesca books some time ago, and the Toby Peters series has been on my TBR list for a while. So, when I found a copy of Dancing in the Dark (Mysterious Press, 1996) in one of my interminable book clean-outs, I took it as a sign. In this, #19 of Toby’s adventures, Fred Astaire has attracted the interest of a determined girlfriend of a Detroit mobster. She wants Astaire to teach her to dance and to undertake other activities with her, much to his dismay.  While the mobster changed his name when he relocated to Los Angeles, he did not otherwise change his thuggish ways, and Astaire has valid concerns about his future health and well-being.

Astaire is focusing on his wartime bond-raising tour and signs Toby up to teach the girlfriend in his place. Toby unfortunately has two left feet, as the saying goes, and makes a poor substitute.  When the girlfriend turns up dead in a ballroom where Toby and his friends are the logical suspects, Toby scrambles to protect himself, his friends, and Fred Astaire from the mobster’s wrath.

Excellent investigative work wrapped in effortless Golden Age Hollywood period detail. The scene where Toby borrows Cornel Wilde’s dinner jacket for an impromptu turn across the stage of Wiltern Theatre in front of a huge audience is side-splitting. An entertaining read.

·         Hardcover: 228 pages

·         Publisher: Mysterious Press; First edition (January 1, 1996)

·         Language: English

·         ISBN-10: 0892965282

·         ISBN-13: 978-0892965281

Aubrey Hamilton ©2019

Aubrey Hamilton is a former librarian who works on Federal It projects by day and reads mysteries at night.

Beneath the Stains of Time: Murder On-Line (1996) by Seimaru Amagi

Beneath the Stains of Time: Murder On-Line (1996) by Seimaru Amagi: I suppose only a tiny fraction of my regular blog readers are aware, or have read, a Japanese "light novel." Light novels are t...