In view of a couple of emails I have gotten, please know that things are okay. My brother is in town so I am spending a considerable amount of time with him and am away from the blog and other things. We also had to go to Probate Court Two of Dallas County this morning and have the hearing about our Mom's will. It was stressful and upsetting, but the judge and her staff were wonderful with us. Such an excursion does a number on me so that is why I wasn't online much of today.
He is here for the week and we have things to accomplish so my presence here will continue to be a bit erratic in the short term. A lack of posts and/or a lack of activity on FB and elsewhere, does not mean--at least right now--that I am wallowing in grief. It just means we are spending time together and trying to handle some things that have been delayed a very long time with everything here.
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Monday, May 07, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
A Year Ago Today....
My mom passed. It happened just before 3 pm this day a year ago and was as peaceful as it could have possible been. She had been so unhappy after my Dad passed and so desperately wanted to be with him, it had finally happened for her. I consoled myself with those thoughts these past weeks and months.
After Dad died, Mom never was the same. Dad was the only man she had ever been with, the only man she had ever loved, and he was her entire world. She wanted to be gone too. I never understood why I and my family, my brother and his family, and several other close friends were not enough. We, the living were still here, and yet she wanted no part of any of that. She wanted to be gone with every fiber of her being. If she could have made that happen and had been assured of being successful, she would have done it.
She tried to explain why she felt that way and tried to do so on more than one occasion. I never got it. I tried not to take it personally. Though, it did feel like a rejection. As the years passed and her grief got worse, her attitude cut deeply. Sandi, who so desperately wanted to live and was fighting setback after setback, tried to talk to her and got nowhere. My brother felt it too though being out of state he did not see it every week nor hear it every phone call as I did being here. It did not help that she was slowly losing her mental faculties and knew it and fought all of us as we tried to get her help for that and other issues.
I now sit in her house, in the same kitchen less than a foot from where I had found her after she had gone down due to a stroke and could not get up, and now totally understand where she was coming from every single day of those five years after Dad died. I now get why she felt so alone.
I now know it was not a rejection. It was never about us, the family, or anything else, but her pain. It was a grief that encompassed everything. A grief that swallows one whole.
I so get it now.
And, I really wish, I did not.
After Dad died, Mom never was the same. Dad was the only man she had ever been with, the only man she had ever loved, and he was her entire world. She wanted to be gone too. I never understood why I and my family, my brother and his family, and several other close friends were not enough. We, the living were still here, and yet she wanted no part of any of that. She wanted to be gone with every fiber of her being. If she could have made that happen and had been assured of being successful, she would have done it.
She tried to explain why she felt that way and tried to do so on more than one occasion. I never got it. I tried not to take it personally. Though, it did feel like a rejection. As the years passed and her grief got worse, her attitude cut deeply. Sandi, who so desperately wanted to live and was fighting setback after setback, tried to talk to her and got nowhere. My brother felt it too though being out of state he did not see it every week nor hear it every phone call as I did being here. It did not help that she was slowly losing her mental faculties and knew it and fought all of us as we tried to get her help for that and other issues.
I now sit in her house, in the same kitchen less than a foot from where I had found her after she had gone down due to a stroke and could not get up, and now totally understand where she was coming from every single day of those five years after Dad died. I now get why she felt so alone.
I now know it was not a rejection. It was never about us, the family, or anything else, but her pain. It was a grief that encompassed everything. A grief that swallows one whole.
I so get it now.
And, I really wish, I did not.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Estate Stuff
Last Saturday marked 90 days since Mom passed due to complications from her stroke. I think about her daily and nothing is getting any easier. On this beautiful morning here in North Texas, I am inside working on letters trying to handle crap that has come up in the last week.
If you have Bank Of America, know that anything you set up before death won't work thanks to their estate unit down in Tampa, Florida. They will request information they already have, move your case between folks that refuse to give their name and will even give you a fake name, and other issues. So, if things are supposed to happen and your account is supposed to go to a loved one, it won't.
Social Security will send out a letter after their recovery unit starts taking back SS money and will ask that you call and inform them why their money is being returned. Do not call! They will not talk to you. Write a letter.
Medicare will send you a premium notice demanding you call and discuss the situation immediately. Same deal. Write a letter.
And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Nearly everyone involved since her passing has worked to make all of this harder than it has to be.
If you have Bank Of America, know that anything you set up before death won't work thanks to their estate unit down in Tampa, Florida. They will request information they already have, move your case between folks that refuse to give their name and will even give you a fake name, and other issues. So, if things are supposed to happen and your account is supposed to go to a loved one, it won't.
Social Security will send out a letter after their recovery unit starts taking back SS money and will ask that you call and inform them why their money is being returned. Do not call! They will not talk to you. Write a letter.
Medicare will send you a premium notice demanding you call and discuss the situation immediately. Same deal. Write a letter.
And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Nearly everyone involved since her passing has worked to make all of this harder than it has to be.
Sunday, May 08, 2016
Happy Mothers Day
Happy Mothers Day from all of us to all of you. We hope you have a very special day!
Friday, May 08, 2015
Mystery Fanfare: Mother's Day Mysteries//Mother's Day Crime Fiction...
Mystery Fanfare: Mother's Day Mysteries//Mother's Day Crime Fiction...: Mother's Day : So many Mothers in Mysteries , but the following is just a sampling with emphasis on the Mother's Day Holiday . I...
Sunday, May 13, 2012
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