Showing posts with label PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On. Show all posts

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Sample Sunday: Excerpt from "STUFFED SHIRT" by Barry Ergang

Barry Ergang is back this week with an excerpt from his short story e-book STUFFED SHIRT.


STUFFED SHIRT
by Barry Ergang

Label it instinct, intuition, or clairvoyance—when I met Theron Claymore, I immediately sensed a predator in our midst.
When he strode into the department alongside Haskell, art director at Danforth Advertising, I thought Claymore was a model. Tall and blond, with appraising slate-blue eyes, he carried himself with the erect confidence one associates with a California surfer. He lacked only the deep suntan. Sensing his superficiality, I was astonished when Haskell announced him as the newest member of our ranks.
Claymore gave the room and the occupants of its glassed cubicles a conquistadorial scrutiny. Haskell then individually introduced him to us.
“This is Eric Dennison,” Haskell said, smiling benevolently beneath his heavy mustache, “our senior artist.”
Despite my repulsion, I shook his hand and murmured, “Nice to meet you.”
Within a short time my initial assessments were confirmed. Claymore’s work had a draftsmanlike competence but lacked the passion, if such a term may be used with regard to advertising, necessary to our type of illustration. Haskell, however, apparently took to it. Perhaps Claymore’s greatest artistry was his ability to sell himself despite the charming sophistry of the product.
Indeed, charm was his biggest commodity and he used it like a chameleon, adapting himself to suit the various agency personalities with whom he had to contend. His good looks and forceful manner endeared him to many of the women, but he was equally adept at bantering with the men. He had none of the newcomer’s reserve and quickly became the focal figure in the art department, magnet for the irreverent remark or salacious joke. Tales of the women he purportedly bedded were incessant.
Most of it I was able to ignore. In my five years at Danforth, I had for self-protective reasons kept distant from my colleagues, which allowed me to work with a relative freedom from interruption. What I could not ignore was Claymore’s camaraderie with Haskell, my immediate superior. Their time together was not spent exclusively on matters of agency business. They lingered in the corridors exchanging jokes and stories, they went out for drinks after hours, they lunched together—often with other department heads. During my tenure I had never socialized with the upper echelons; Claymore exerted a disproportionate amount of time insinuating himself into their circles.
My mother would have been appalled. When she returned to the workplace after my father died, she performed her duties diligently and reliably but shunned the intra-office politicking common among her colleagues and thus never received the promotions she deserved. “I don’t understand them,” she would say of the other women in her office, “fawning and bootlicking and backstabbing to be noticed. No woman—nor man either—should have to stoop that low.”
Up until her own death, she did not possess the pragmatism necessary to deal with Theron Claymore’s sort. She never knew her child did—never knew, for instance, that the  disfiguring “accident” in high school chemistry which befell one of my classmates avenged an affront; never knew that during my first year at Danforth, the occupant of an apartment in the building next to mine died to prevent disclosure of what he saw when, upon arriving home from work one evening, I carelessly left the bedroom curtains open.



Barry Ergang ©2013
Stuffed Shirt is one of a number of Barry Ergang's books available at Amazon and Smashwords.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Sample Sunday: Excerpt "SIBYL DISOBEDIENCE" from "PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On" by Barry Ergang

Barry is back this week with another excerpt from PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On. His work FEEDWAY from the book can be sampled here.

SIBYL DISOBEDIENCE
by Barry Ergang

Her people clamored against its oppression, but the provincial government responded savagely, killing hundreds. She made it her mission to find an inspirer to unify and lead the protesters.

“I’ve written to a prophetess in Manchuria I’ve read about,” she said, “who follows the peaceful precepts of Mahatma Gandhi. I’m meeting with her to beg her assistance in our cause.”

“That’s dangerous and probably futile,” her betrothed said. “I won’t allow you to risk your life.”

“I’m going. You can’t stop me.”

          He nodded, scowling.


             “All right. But don’t expect me to approve of the Manchurian Gandhi date.”

 Barry Ergang © 2013
 PUN-ishing Tales is available at Amazon and Smashwords.

Saturday, March 08, 2014

FREE For A Few Hours More

Smashwords is doing their annual "Read a e-book week." Many authors are participating and offering deeply discounted books. My short story collection Mind Slices which features tales of mystery, suspense, and more is available for free during this week long promotion.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/kevinrtipple

Enter the code RW100 at checkout to get it for free. If you do read the book, I would be very grateful for any review regardless of whether you love it, hate it, or something in-between.

While there make sure you pick up two books from Barry. He has offered for free The Play of Light and Shadow, a whodunit/howdunit; and PUN-ishing TALES: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On, a collection of "groaners," some of which involve crime and mystery.

Friday, March 07, 2014

FREE BOOKS and the Smashword Promotion--TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

Ending Saturday night at midnight, Smashwords is doing their annual "Read a e-book week." Many authors are participating and offering deeply discounted books. My short story collection Mind Slices which features tales of mystery, suspense, and more is available for free during this week long promotion.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/kevinrtipple

Enter the code RW100 at checkout to get it for free. If you do read the book, I would be very grateful for any review regardless of whether you love it, hate it, or something in-between.

While there make sure you pick up two books from Barry. He has offered for free The Play of Light and Shadow, a whodunit/howdunit; and PUN-ishing TALES: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On, a collection of "groaners," some of which involve crime and mystery.

Monday, March 03, 2014

Smashwords Promotion


Smashwords is doing their annual "Read a e-book week." Many authors are participating and offering deeply discounted books. My short story collection Mind Slices which features tales of mystery, suspense, and more is available for free during this week long promotion.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/kevinrtipple

Enter the code RW100 at checkout to get it for free. If you do read the book, I would be very grateful for any review regardless of whether you love it, hate it, or something in-between.

While there make sure you pick up two books from Barry. He has offered for free The Play of Light and Shadow, a whodunit/howdunit; and PUN-ishing TALES: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On, a collection of "groaners," some of which involve crime and mystery.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Sample Sunday: Excerpt "SIBYL DISOBEDIENCE" from "PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On" by Barry Ergang

Barry is back this week with another excerpt from PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On. You can also read another excerpt titled FEEDWAY from the book here.


SIBYL DISOBEDIENCE
by Barry Ergang

Her people clamored against its oppression, but the provincial government responded savagely, killing hundreds. She made it her mission to find an inspirer to unify and lead the protesters.

“I’ve written to a prophetess in Manchuria I’ve read about,” she said, “who follows the peaceful precepts of Mahatma Gandhi. I’m meeting with her to beg her assistance in our cause.”

“That’s dangerous and probably futile,” her betrothed said. “I won’t allow you to risk your life.”

“I’m going. You can’t stop me.”

          He nodded, scowling.

            “All right. But don’t expect me to approve of the Manchurian Gandhi date.”

 Barry Ergang © 2013
 PUN-ishing Tales is available at Amazon and Smashwords.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Sample Sunday: Excerpt from "Stuffed Shirt" by Barry Ergang

Barry Ergang is back this week with an excerpt from his short story e-book STUFFED SHIRT.


STUFFED SHIRT
by Barry Ergang

Label it instinct, intuition, or clairvoyance—when I met Theron Claymore, I immediately sensed a predator in our midst.
When he strode into the department alongside Haskell, art director at Danforth Advertising, I thought Claymore was a model. Tall and blond, with appraising slate-blue eyes, he carried himself with the erect confidence one associates with a California surfer. He lacked only the deep suntan. Sensing his superficiality, I was astonished when Haskell announced him as the newest member of our ranks.
Claymore gave the room and the occupants of its glassed cubicles a conquistadorial scrutiny. Haskell then individually introduced him to us.
“This is Eric Dennison,” Haskell said, smiling benevolently beneath his heavy mustache, “our senior artist.”
Despite my repulsion, I shook his hand and murmured, “Nice to meet you.”
Within a short time my initial assessments were confirmed. Claymore’s work had a draftsmanlike competence but lacked the passion, if such a term may be used with regard to advertising, necessary to our type of illustration. Haskell, however, apparently took to it. Perhaps Claymore’s greatest artistry was his ability to sell himself despite the charming sophistry of the product.
Indeed, charm was his biggest commodity and he used it like a chameleon, adapting himself to suit the various agency personalities with whom he had to contend. His good looks and forceful manner endeared him to many of the women, but he was equally adept at bantering with the men. He had none of the newcomer’s reserve and quickly became the focal figure in the art department, magnet for the irreverent remark or salacious joke. Tales of the women he purportedly bedded were incessant.
Most of it I was able to ignore. In my five years at Danforth, I had for self-protective reasons kept distant from my colleagues, which allowed me to work with a relative freedom from interruption. What I could not ignore was Claymore’s camaraderie with Haskell, my immediate superior. Their time together was not spent exclusively on matters of agency business. They lingered in the corridors exchanging jokes and stories, they went out for drinks after hours, they lunched together—often with other department heads. During my tenure I had never socialized with the upper echelons; Claymore exerted a disproportionate amount of time insinuating himself into their circles.
My mother would have been appalled. When she returned to the workplace after my father died, she performed her duties diligently and reliably but shunned the intra-office politicking common among her colleagues and thus never received the promotions she deserved. “I don’t understand them,” she would say of the other women in her office, “fawning and bootlicking and backstabbing to be noticed. No woman—nor man either—should have to stoop that low.”
Up until her own death, she did not possess the pragmatism necessary to deal with Theron Claymore’s sort. She never knew her child did—never knew, for instance, that the  disfiguring “accident” in high school chemistry which befell one of my classmates avenged an affront; never knew that during my first year at Danforth, the occupant of an apartment in the building next to mine died to prevent disclosure of what he saw when, upon arriving home from work one evening, I carelessly left the bedroom curtains open.



Barry Ergang ©2013
Stuffed Shirt is one of a number of Barry Ergang's books available at Amazon and Smashwords.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Sample Sunday--- A Look Back

Recent Sundays have seen excerpts from a number of books here on the blog. I thought today, instead of giving you something new, I would give you the list of recent books and authors so you could catch-up if you missed anyone. The books below are all good ones and well worth your time.

Bowling With The Big Dogs by Tim Matson can be found here
The Rules by Mark Troy can be found here.
Blackout by Jan Christensen can be found here.
The Play Of Light And Shadow by Barry Ergang can be found here.
PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On by Barry Ergang can be found here.

So, go take a look. I expect you will find one or more that strikes your fancy.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Sample Sunday: "FEEDWAY" from "PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On" by Barry Ergang

For a number of Sundays now, I have inflicted upon you samples from my own books. As I said last week, enough is enough of that. It isn't like I have 12 books out and can rotate a ton of samples at you. So, I am opening up things starting this Sunday with other stuff. 


Today, Barry gets a turn and offered the below sample with this intro: "No, it's not about BDSM, S&M, or anything kinky. PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On is a book of groaners, humorous short stories (some very short) that are sometimes peppered with puns throughout but which always end with them. If you enjoy word play, or just enjoy something to groan about, you'll have fun with this collection."




FEEDWAY
by Barry Ergang


            “What’re you thinking?” the resort owner demanded. “I ask for a first-class chef and you hire a race-car driver.”

            Retired race-car driver,” his president of operations said, “who’s studied at some of the world’s finest culinary institutes.”

            The owner snorted. “Yeah— he’ll give the customers gas, right?”

            “The customers’ll be revved. Racing’s popular all over the world. Drivers are superstars— including our boy. The novelty’s a great shift for us because we can  
advertise a five-star restaurant featuring a dual-celebrity chef.” He snapped his fingers. “We could rename the restaurant Grand Prix!”      

            “Which of you do I spin out of here first?”

            “Neither. At least, not till you’ve lapped the fare. You don’t know heaven till you’ve tasted his Lamb Borghini.” 
 
Barry Ergang © 2013


PUN-ishing Tales: The Stuff That Groans Are Made On is one of a number of Barry Ergang's e-books available at Amazon and Smashwords.