Around here we know
something about cancer and its impact. More than we ever wanted to know. So
does Bob Riter, cancer survivor. He is also the executive director of Cancer
Resource center of the Finger Lakes in Ithaca, New York. He is also the author
of When
Your life Is Touched By Cancer: Practical Advice and Insights for Patients, Professionals
and Those Who Care.
The nine chapters of this
book are made up of various columns author Bob Riter wrote for the Ithaca Journal newspaper about his cancer
as well as cancer in general. At age 40 Bob had breast cancer, had a mastectomy,
and treatment. He wrote about, not only his experience, but the various cancer questions
he has heard from patients or their loved ones over the years. This is book that
is not meant to be read in one sitting. The short chapters are designed to be
read here and there as the mood or need strikes. This is especially true in the beginning
because the patient and loved ones are over whelmed.
The first chapter addresses
that stunning “Just Diagnosed” time in those first few days after the doctor or,
in our case here, five doctors tell you the news. Along with the aftermath and
dealing with that, the chapter explains some questions that are really okay to
ask, whether a second opinion is warranted and how to go about it, and the
power of positive thinking and hope.
Starting on page 16 with “Chapter
2: Talking About Your Cancer” the author gives some advice on how to tell the
kids. Just as hard can be telling your parents and the in-laws. How does one
deal with telling others at work and in one’s social circle? Their expectations
and their concerns? How does one deal with that well-meaning look of pity that
cancer patients get all the time. These are just some of the common topics
dealt with in this chapter.
“Chapter 3: Treatment
Choices” opens with some words on alternative cancer therapies and alternative
practitioners. Clinical trials are covered here as is a little bit about
various treatment options and quality of life.
Communicating with your
health care providers is hugely important and that is the subject of “Chapter
4: Your Health-Care Team.” Beginning on page 39, the author has advice for patients
and medical providers on how to communicate effectively. Communication both
ways between the patient and the team is incredibly important and that thought
is reinforced repeatedly through this chapter.
“Chapter 5: Caring for
Yourself During Treatment” is possibly the most important chapter in the book---
in my opinion. Dealing with the depression, the anxiety, the stress, and all
the rest of it is just part of this chapter. Also included are explanations of
some of the treatment side effects such as “chemo brain” as well as the various
physiological transitions of the disease.
Relationships are an element
of the entire book, but get special consideration in “Chapter 6: Cancer and
Relationships.” Starting on page 65 the chapter addresses being single with
cancer followed by addressing what it is like to be a relationship. What that
means for the patient as well as the spouse. Specifically addressed in the chapter
is how men often want to “fix it” for their spouse and the fact that is not
possible brings its own burden and frustration. It certainly has been an issue
for me.
You finished your treatment.
Your cancer is gone and yet you are still tired and the mind is still very muddled.
You should feel better, you think, and yet things seem weird and you miss your treatment
team. You may have a case of the post treatment blahs and that is covered in “Chapter
7: After Treatment.” Dealing with survivor's guilt is covered here. Also
covered is how to cope if or when the cancer returns as well as dealing with
cancer as a chronic disease.
“Chapter Eight: Reflections
on the Cancer Experience” begins on page 83 and covers how folks responded to
the diagnosis of cancer in others. There are a lot of good people out there
doing wonderful things that one never hears about in the daily diet of politics,
wars, and crime in the nation’s media. Also covered here is the power of
support from others and how much it means for patients and their families. As
noted in earlier chapters, the power of hope is part of this chapter as is
relishing the moment of now.
Often one does not know
really what to say when a person they love or know has cancer. It isn’t easy. “Chapter
Nine: Supporting Others with Cancer” is all about that in every aspect. The
difficulties of being a caretaker and trying to help someone from a long
distance are just some of the areas covered here in the final chapter of the
book.
A two page resource list comes
next followed by a five page index.
The subtitle of this short
book, Practical Advice and Insights for Patients, Professionals and Those Who
Care makes it very clear what the book is designed to do. The book
delivers across the board in all aspects and is very much a supportive and
caring read. I truly wish something like this had been around on Thanksgiving Day
2011 when Sandi was diagnosed with cancer the first time. It would have helped.
Reading this book now months
after her cancer came back with a vicious vengeance in late 2012 and everything
we have been through since was an incredibly emotional experience. Our lives
weren't just touched by cancer; they were run over by a 50 ton cancer
bulldozer. A bulldozer that has made repeated passes over us and continues to loudly
snarl and spins its treads in preparation to roll over us again. So, it is
impossible for me to be remotely objective about cancer or this book. Cancer
isn’t something I can look at dispassionately and be objective about as I such
rage about the diease and what t has done
to us. nor is the book. While the author may be unsettled by equating the
terms of war and military combat with having cancer, for us, it is a war. It is
a flat out physically and emotionally grueling day by day war where we measure
everything by various test results and how she feels.
All I can say is When
Your life Is Touched By Cancer: Practical Advice and Insights for Patients, Professionals
and Those Who Care by Bob Riter is an incredible book. I hope and pray
you will never need it, but if you ever do, it’s good to know it is out there
and can help ease everything just a little bit.
When Your life Is Touched By Cancer: Practical Advice and Insights for Patients, Professionals and Those Who Care
Bob Riter
Hunter House Publishing
February 2014
ISBN# 978-0-89793-679-8
Paperback
145 Pages
$14.95
Material supplied
by the good folks of the Plano Texas Public Library System.
Kevin R. Tipple ©2014
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