Today was tough as Sandi was very much out of it. She knew who we were when we came to visit, but little else. She has no memory of calling me three times late last night sure stuff was missing from her room nor does she remember how upset she was with me or anything else. There were times today when she used the wrong word for something (using "shoe" when she meant "telephone" for one example) and other times she started a sentences and stopped after four or five words. What little she said she repeated over and over again over many minutes interspersed with baby talk. When the kids were little she never did that much baby talk so hearing so much today was very disconcerting.
Her blood work is still coming back with no signs of infection though that does not mean much as that has happened before when she had a raging infection. The most recent episode of unexplained fevers seems to have inexplicably stopped again. They have added a different antibiotic and taken her off the IV versions of various antibiotics. They have also changed her BP med again to deal with an ongoing issue of her blood pressure soaring.
Scott and I plan on staying home Sunday to give me a day of semi rest. Having fallen twice at UTD Friday evening and having stumbled and nearly fallen several times today, it is clear that I need to stay home and take care of myself a bit.
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7 comments:
Very sad. But take care of yourself. Caregivers need a break now and then.
I feel very guilty. At the same time, I am exhausted and overwhelmed. They are also doing a great job of taking care of her so I also know that right now I can do this and get away with it.
Bill's right: you need to take care of yourself so you can properly deal with Sandi's situation. As you yourself acknowledge, she's being well cared-for at the hospital, so you can take the time to rest without feeling guilty.
Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for both you and Sandi. No need to feel guilty (although you will anyway) because taking care of yourself is an important part of the job.
I know, logically, it is okay, but emotionally is a far different deal.
Caregivers must take care of themselves, Kevin. I know you are a worrier and feel you should be with Sandi all the time, but that's impossible. Give yourself permission to rest a day every three or four days. If Sandi were lucid, that's what she'd want. Since she's not, she won't know the difference.
She seems to know despite everything.
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