Saturday, January 01, 2011


began on a cold note around here. Not just because it was cold outside. The heat broke last night and by this morning, it was down to fifty in the apartment. Maintenance came by in the early afternoon and fixed us as well as several other apartments. One hopes it keeps working.

So, we have a new year. Big damn deal. In past years, the first day of the new year has always marked hope. I always had a feeling things were going to get better for those I love and myself. Not this year.

If I could take 2010 bundle it up, pour gasoline on it, and burn the damn thing out in the parking lot I would. 2010 was a year of pain and stress for me, for my wife and just who had her own major event deal last Spring, as well as about everyone I know. In our case I don't see things turning around.

As of midnight, I don't have insurance because we could not make the January COBRA payment. I have at least two more months to wait to see if I qualify for Social Security Disability. As soon as the rent check clears the bank and takes the last of the money out in a couple of days, we will be filing for foodstamps. Everything is slipping away, piece by piece, and there is not a damn thing I can do about any of it.

And that is a huge chunk of why I am in a foul mood all the time driving the wife and kids nuts. Sheer frustration. Hurting nonstop is part of it. But the fact that I can't do something to change anything or fix anything makes it so much worse. Not only am I gradually getting worse and losing mobility and all that, I can't stop the rolling disaster for the family.

It is a nightmare and I can't wake up.


michael said...

First, how about a donate button connecting to Pay Pal for this site. Even living on disability I can send some cash to help out.

Second, you have every reason to feel the way you do.

Third, I have posted some of what I have been through these last seven years. At one point the (sorry for the rough words but they are the only way I can describe what I felt) self pity one feels for oneself begins to shame you. You have a loving wife and kids. Tomorrow will be worse but don't be so hurting you lose them too. Think of what a wonderful life you have been blessed to have. Think of telling that dying child whose illness is financially wiping out his or her entire family how tough your life has been.

I don't know you personally but I doubt that number three above has not occurred to you often. I found when it got the worse I would let myself go to the lowest self pity fit I could stand. It helped guilt me into remembering the many blessings I had in life.

You will make it or not. Spend that time enjoying what you have rather than focus on the possible doom of tomorrow.

Again, post an address where we can send help or write me at mds1142 at yahoo dot com.

Today is temporary. Don't give up.

Michael Shonk

Kevin R. Tipple said...


Thank you for your offer. Means a lot. I have looked at the donate button before and it appeared one had to be a non profit to get the donate button. Maybe I misunderstood it.

I do have a PayPal account (Kevin Tipple) but have no idea how to tell folks how to send money through it.

Things are getting to me pretty good and I think way too much. And yes, I know there are folks dealing with a lot worse. But, right now, that don't mean much. Maybe that makes me a selfish pig these days.

I don't know.

michael said...

More Human than selfish. There is never a better time to feel bad about your life than now. But...

It is not about who has it worse, it is about who deals with it best.

I have had two eye operations on each eye and years of painful laser treatments. Things were looking great (pun intended). My right eye still shrinks objects and moves them to the left (such a worthless superpower), but my left eye had gotten good enough for me to drive legally. This week we discovered my blood pressure in the left eye was dangerously high and I could go blind. I could focus on a future of possible blindness or I could accept what will be will be. I kind of do neither. I do everything I can to save my sight, but more importantly I am thankful that today I can still read with one eye closed.

I am a fan of comic strips (yeah, I can always enjoy an audio book of comic strips). Many web cartoonists feature a donate button on their site. Not sure how it works either.

Hope you can find some joy somewhere in the reality of today.

Pat R. said...

I searched for your PayPal Account and I am not finding it. If someone knows what email or name your account is under it is very easy to make a contribution. My desktop computer crashed New Year's Day and I thought that was a problem but I see it is not much of a problem compared to your situation.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

If I knew how to tell you to find it, Pat, I would. PayPal has always been more complicated then I could figure out.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Sounds pretty rough, Michael. I am sorry. Stories like yours remind me I need to shut my mouth.

michael said...

Feel free to vent.

I just sent some money via PayPal. Let me know if you got it and I will share with others reading how I did it.
If I did it right.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Yes, Michael, it worked! Thank you so much!!

michael said...

Happy to help.

I went to my Pay Pal account and used the send money to a friend or personal reasons. I sent it to Kevin's email address. Which you can find under his picture on this blog. It is: kevinrtipple at verizon dot net.

Pat R. said...

Michael, how did you find it. I searched under Kevin Tipple and found nothing.

michael said...

Pat R., you don't search for Kevin on PayPal. Go to your account and click on send money. All you need to transfer money from your PayPal account to Kevin's is his email address.

Which is kevinrtipple (at)

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Thank you, Michael for figuring it out AND explaining it. I thought my e-mail address of was involved in some way.

I am going to take a look at the donation button situation again. I have not looked since last summer and maybe this time I can make it work.

Thanks again.


Pat R. said...

Thanks for the explanation. I got it done.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Thank you, Pat R. I am very greatful.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Thank you both again. I have taken Michael's advice to heart and have added donation buttons.