Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Kismet by Amina Akhtar

Kismet had me at Sedona, Arizona. This breathtaking city is a tourist trap, but it’s easy to understand why. The stunning landscapes attract visitors from all over the world, and I’d never read a thriller set there before, so I was eager to check out Kismet.

Once I started the book, it quickly turned into a fast-paced read that I couldn’t put down. Ronnie might not appeal to some readers because she is very passive, but that’s part of her journey, and I found it completely credible. I related to her and her attempts to fly under the radar to avoid conflict and her inability to really understand, love, and assert herself.

This isn’t your typical thriller with an active investigation into the murders. The story focuses on the way that crime impacts local residents, and how people with varying agendas try to capitalize on the crimes for their own gains.

I was a teenager living in Ontario at the height of the manhunt for a suspected serial killer you may have heard of—Paul Bernardo. And I grew up in Cottage Country, so I spent every summer of my life (until adulthood) dealing with tourist infestations and the ways people capitalized on tourists. From that perspective, I found the events in Kismet quite credible. As someone who’d spent their childhood exploring woods and lakes and disappearing for hours without consequence (because that’s what we kids did in the 70s), the search for Bernardo prompted additional parental supervision and more public scrutiny. My parents even gave a report to the police about someone they knew who had a similar car to one seen near an abduction. Everyone was on edge, and when everyone’s on edge, things can escalate quickly. Fear drives wedges in communities and relationships.

There’s some masterful sleight of hand at play here in the storytelling, because while you’re legitimately so focused on some events unfolding, there are other developments that come together to surprise and fill in the missing pieces in this story. There is some woo woo, you could say, because there are chapters told from the perspective of ravens. I liked this added touch to the story, because it definitely tells you there’s more at work here than what meets the eye. However, if you don’t like woo woo, you could probably skim or skip those sections without it significantly impairing your ability to enjoy the core story.

There are some political threads in Kismet related to racism. In my opinion, you can’t tell this kind of story without delving into the current political climate. To try to do so would be disingenuous, and the politics of racism is very much a factor for Ronnie. We see that throughout the story, from the people who were so casually racist they never listened to her and tried to label her as something she wasn’t to the people who profiled her because of her skin color.

Now, getting back to the woo woo portion … one of the things I really liked was the reference to people’s auras. I don’t know much about this at all, but I really liked the idea of seeing beyond the surface to understand what a person’s really about.

Kismet provides resolution for the core threads, but it isn’t exactly what I’d call a neat and tidy ending. There are a few details that aren’t followed up on. While some thriller readers may find that annoying, it’s easy enough to guess at the details and feels more credible because, in a way, it left this question mark out there surrounding one character and their future. Kismet is a thriller that left me grappling with questions about morality, and why sometimes I’m more than happy to look the other way, no matter what I believe is right or wrong. More than that, it’s one that’s lingered on my brain long after reading the last page, which is evidence of how much I enjoyed it. 5 stars.

 

 

Sandra Ruttan © 2022 

Sandra Ruttan is the founder and EIC of Dark Dispatch. In March 2022, Dark Dispatch released The Dead Inside, an identity horror anthology co-edited by Laurel Hightower and Sandra Ruttan. Ruttan's novels are available online, and if you're looking for a place to start she suggests Harvest of Ruins.

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Stargazers by L. P. Hernandez

It has been quite some time, but please welcome back Sandra Ruttan with another all-new review. 

 

Review of Stargazers by L. P. Hernandez 

 

Stargazers is a lean story centered around Henry, his wife, and his daughter. It takes place during an unexplained event. Perhaps you imagine the end of the world with fire raining from sky, bombs dropped by man, or missiles launched by aliens. Stargazers is far more sinister because it's mysterious and unexplained, but whatever it is overrides people's minds and assumes control. They aren't themselves, and their behavior leads to their deaths, the destruction of towns, and the deaths of others.

 

Henry has PTSD and already struggles to hold it together during the best of times, so when things go bad, there's real tension. It's instinctive to wonder how he'll cope. This adds to the intrigue and maintains reader engagement as events unfolded.

 

Sections are split with some posts online. These outside perspectives give readers different information about what's happening and widen the scope of knowledge effectively. When you anticipate trouble on the horizon, you worry more about your protagonist and want to see what happens when they come to certain realizations or deal with new realities. In the mystery genre, there are whodunnits and there are howdunnits and there are whydunnits. Sometimes, however, the most compelling mysteries don't center on unknowns, but rather certainties. Knowing a character will have to deal with something specific and wondering how they'll get out of the situation or respond can be just as satisfying as figuring out who's responsible.  

This story creates and maintains plenty of tension and adds plenty of developments throughout to keep it from being predictable. In fact, the author avoids some common tropes and leaves us with loose ends, and I personally applaud the choice to avoid tying things up neatly. 

My only real quibble centers on a writing choice related to point of view. At times, we follow Dad or Mom, and other times we follow the daughter. I don't think the sections from the daughter were necessary and since most involved jumping to and from her POV in the middle of a scene, it was distracting. The other thing is, knowing her thoughts mitigates tension in those scenes because we know her situation, and she presents as very mature for her age. Staying out of her thoughts keeps the focus on Dad's concerns and his uncertainty because he doesn't know what she's thinking. The same way the mystery about what's prompting the stargazers to act the way they do adds tension and intrigue, not knowing what the child's thinking adds to Henry's worries and stress level. He's dealing with the stargazers, armed people in the streets, and his own demons. Worrying about his daughter adds another layer to his concerns, but we don't really live in those moments because the POV jumps to her and reassures us because she isn't in full-blown panic mode.

 

Compare to a scene between the parents when Mom comes home, clearly distraught. We don't even know exactly what she saw, and that lack of detail is more effective because we see the scene through Dad's eyes and feel how worried he is. It's perhaps the most gutting scene in the book because Henry's wife has kept it together for so long and now she's come undone, leaving Henry anchorless. 

 

Overall this is a solid novella that blends the best elements of horror and suspense to deliver a memorable apocalyptic story that's both chilling and hopeful. I look forward to seeing what Hernandez has in store for us in the future.

 

Trigger Warnings 

Sexual assault

Gaslighting

Gore

Death

Grief

PTSD

 

 

Sandra Ruttan ©2022

Sandra Ruttan is the founder and EIC of Dark Dispatch. In March 2022, Dark Dispatch released The Dead Inside, an identity horror anthology co-edited by Laurel Hightower and Sandra Ruttan. Ruttan's novels are available online, and if you're looking for a place to start she suggests Harvest of Ruins.

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: The Rust Maidens by Gwendolyn Kiste

Phoebe and her cousin grew up on the same street, in the same corner of their city... Where people still shopped at a no name corner store, where all the men worked for the same company, where all the women met for gossip and event planning and crisis management.

This is the same place a much older Phoebe returns to, decades later. The place she swore she'd never return to. Circumstances have forced her back, all these years after she ran away.

Timelines following both 18-year-old Phoebe and 46-year-old Phoebe intertwine. The reader gradually learns what it was that drove Phoebe away, and the truth about the rust maidens.

Kiste draws readers into Phoebe's life and story and builds suspense as she slowly reveals more details-details that only add to the intrigue.

For me, this was as unputdownable as a book gets. I was mesmerized, not only by the plot and revelations, but by Phoebe's journey. This work exemplifies the very best of the horror genre. It is a book I would point to when arguing that horror is the most hopeful genre, because a critical component of much of the best horror is the ability to find strength within yourself and stand up to the terrors you're facing.

This work is every bit as much about healing and forgiveness and regret as it is about the horror of what happened that summer 28 years ago. It made an indelible mark upon me, and although it has been weeks since I finished it, its impact remains. And if you want to prove to someone that not all horror is gore, monsters, serial killers or demons, this is the book to hand them. It's the fear of what's beyond your control that is what produces the horror here, and it gets under your skin in a real and palpable way.

I highly recommend this novel.

 

Sandra Ruttan ©2020

Sandra Ruttan is an editor, author and reviewer. Keep up to date via Twitter @sandraruttan

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: The Prisoners of Stewartville by Shannon Felton

Stewartville is a “vortex of weird”. It is a place where urban legends overlap with the very real fear that comes from the town’s isolation and the fact that there are prisons nearby. Blaring sirens indicating a prisoner is on the loose overshadow people’s daily lives. It seems like everyone in town is headed towards those prisons. They’ll either work there or be sent there. That is, perhaps, the closest one will get to the real truth of the town.

Or is it? When a group of teens dare to visit the site where several children died, one spots muddy fingerprints on the back of the car, and yet the road had been empty. Then a strange car follows them and fear sets in.

Two of the boys also find a tunnel connected to a basement. Their easy friendship starts to sour as Denny’s obsession with the tunnel grows. His mom has changed since their move to Stewartville, and tensions are rising in his home.

His friend is being raised by his brother—their mom is locked up —is surrounded by people who aren’t acting normally. His brother fixates on keeping him straight and clean so that he can make something of his life, but that same brother now seems to be using drugs. The house is messier, the food supplies dwindle.

Then people snap. One shocking murder is only the beginning. Is it the ley lines? The tunnels? Something crawling out from beneath the town to wreak vengeance for prior wrongs?

Author Shannon Felton does a great job of creating and building tension throughout this story. She provides just enough info to keep you guessing about what’s really going on, and then still manages to pull the rug out from under your feet with unexpected developments. The town feels all too real, with a lot of people lacking direction and succumbing to their unwelcome fate. There’s a hopelessness that permeates every page, and has you feeling like the characters are under constant pressure to surrender to the pull of the prisons. Whether the curse is real, whether some other evil force is at work, is for you to decide.

Sandra Ruttan ©2020

Sandra Ruttan is the YA, sci fi, fantasy and horror acquisitions editor for Bronzeville Books http://www.bronzevillebooks.com/ and the managing editor for Bronzeville Bee http://www.bronzevillebee.com. Stay up to date via twitter @sandraruttan

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Maxine Unleashes Doomsday by Nick Kolakowski

This book also happens to be in my digital tbr pile though I have no idea when I will get to it. Please welcome back Sandra Ruttan who can tell you about the book now.

You're probably going to see a lot of Mad Max comparisons and references when people talk about Nick Kolakowski's Maxine Unleashes Doomsday, and there is definitely a Mad Max vibe. We're propelled into the future - a future where current borders don't all exist, where parts of the United States have broken off and become their own countries.

But, unlike the world of Mad Max, this isn't a parched earth starving for water. This is a world where the seas have risen and the skyscrapers of New York City are surrounded by water instead of roads.

Kolakowski uses a distinct storytelling approach by having the parts of Maxine's life segmented. We are aware from the inserts throughout (and the arguments between academic scholars and AI) that there are gaps missing. One of the benefits of this approach is that you don't project in the same way and expect people who are relevant in the second stage of Maxine's life to pop back up in the later segments. This keeps you on your toes as a reader, because you're never quite sure when a character is about to make their exit.

There's a lot to dissect in this book. It touches on climate change, attitudes towards poverty, political instability, technology and its potential ills, but it is never weighed down with these issues. Some books risk being soap boxes and feeling preachy as they delve into tough topics, but that's never the case here. This is a non-stop action thrill ride with substance and heart. Maxine is feisty and likable, a self-made heroine who isn't about to be stepped on and squished by the wealthy in society. 

There's solid crime components and this is a dystopian story that should appeal to fans of dark fantasy stories set in a future earth. There are also a lot of science fiction elements, although the story is never stalled by technological specifics. Whatever you call it, it's a great read worthy of your time. Sit down, buckle up, and brace yourself. Maxine is one of a kind.

I'd pay to see this on the big screen.

* Sandra interviews Nick about Maxine Unleashes Doomsday on November 13 www.bronzevillebee.com

Sandra Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan is the YA, sci fi, fantasy and horror acquisitions editor for Bronzeville Books http://www.bronzevillebooks.com/ and the managing editor for Bronzeville Bee http://www.bronzevillebee.com. Stay up to date via twitter @sandraruttan

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Beneath the Ashes by Dea Poirier

In her sophomore offering, Dea Poirier sends Claire Calderwell on her next big case. A girl's body has been found in a motel. There are ritualistic elements at the scene that hint at a murderer who has been killing girls for a long time, and when more bodies are discovered.

Meanwhile, Claire's boyfriend Noah is busy dealing with his own ghosts miles away. Claire misses him, but is struggling with whether or not to take their relationship to the next level. Meanwhile, she's assigned to partner with a young female officer who's never worked this type of case before, and finds herself in the role of teacher and mentor.

In her investigation, all roads seem to lead to the same hospital. The female administrator is heartless and there are plenty of reasons for suspicion, but the hospital is uncooperative and has enough influence to make it hard for Claire's investigation to advance.

There are plenty of discoveries along the way as Claire, and the reader, sort out what information is relevant and what isn't. One of the strengths of Poirier's approach is that she doesn't rush to quick fixes and simple solutions. Claire feels very real because she is damaged and solving her sister's murder doesn't automatically make everything better. She'll spend a lifetime working through the damage from that trauma, and no relationship, drink or life choice is going to change that. Claire wrestles with demons. She struggles with what she wants - Noah - and her fears about loss.

Poirier's stories are as much about the slow road of recovery from trauma and dealing with grief as they are about the murders Claire investigates. It's one of the hallmarks that sets her series apart, and readers leave Beneath the Ashes with the sense that whatever crimes Claire deals with next, she will continue to work through her personal issues as well as she heals, making her a relatable and compelling character to revisit with each new series installment.

Sandra Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan is the YA, sci fi, fantasy and horror acquisitions editor for Bronzeville Books http://www.bronzevillebooks.com/ and the managing editor for Bronzeville Bee http://www.bronzevillebee.com. Stay up to date via twitter @sandraruttan

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Their Last Breath by Sibel Hodge

Their Last Breath is an ambitious police procedural/thriller that engrosses you from the start. Gillian Lane returns home from a business trip overseas, hoping to surprise her husband. Instead, she gets the surprise of her life when she finds a stranger in her house who chases her out into the road, where she is hit by a car.

Warren Carter is at home, struggling to cope with retirement when he gets an early morning call, asking him if he'll come down to talk to a police officer who works with the Professional Standards Department (PSD). He fears the reason may be something to do with an old case, called Bloodbath Farm, that involved police corruption. A few things are clear from the start; Carter is also mourning his late wife, and he has something to hide about the Bloodbath Farm case.

He heads in to talk to Caroline Barker and gets the surprise of his life; will he come back to work? They have a case and need his help.

Detective Sergeant Becky Harris is woken by her phone, early, and her husband isn't pleased. Before she can leave to report to work her husband gets another dig in. Their relationship is on the rocks. While her career is doing well and she's recently been commended at work, he wants to start a family and is sick of her long hours. She finds herself at Gillian Lane's house, where Lane's husband and an unidentified woman have been murdered.

Carter, meanwhile, has five dead bodies and a sixth victim en route to hospital after a fire at an old building that was once a hospital. The victims have been chained to the wall, suggesting human trafficking. Although the fire destroyed some of the evidence, they find enough to know that a police officer's warrant card has been recovered beside the body of one of the women. The ID has been destroyed by the fire, but because of the potential that a police officer was involved, PSD will handle the investigation, which will be kept confidential.

Carter and Harris soon cross paths; they used to work together. Harris's case looks like the work of a serial killer on the surface, but Carter can't tell Harris anything about his investigation ... not yet.

This is the foundation for what turns out to be an intricate story that weaves Carter and Harris's perspectives throughout the story. The reader gets to follow both investigations, and can start to see the pieces coming together. There are also chapters from Gillian's perspective, as well as Hayat's, one of the victims from Carter's case. The author does a great job of distinguishing each narrative. One of the things to also appreciate about this approach is that this isn't a book where lip service is paid to the victims. With sections from Gillian's and Hayat's point of view, these victims are well developed, with their histories, fears, feelings and hopes poured out on the pages.

To say too much more on the plot would start to give some things away. There are some specific things that I applaud. One is that Carter's investigation went in a direction I haven't seen specifically tackled in another book. Having read some other works by Hodge, I'm aware the author is often inspired to address real world issues in her stories, and this one is no different. A note from the author is included at the end to that effect. 

Another is that the backstory for Carter is as well developed as the ongoing investigations. There is a sense of depth and history to all of these characters, and that really makes it possible to invest in their personal and professional challenges. You really feel like you've stepped into their world for this, but that their lives continue on after you've read the last page.

Overall, this is a compelling thriller that sinks its hooks in early and doesn't let go. The pace intensifies as the cases progress and left me turning the pages late into the night. I've enjoyed every one of Hodge's books I've read, and this one is no exception; I highly recommend it. 

Sandra Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan is the managing editor of Bronzeville Bee, an editor with Bronzeville Books, the author of six novels, including What Burns Within and Harvest of Ruins, and regularly contributes articles on writing and publishing at 

www.bronzevillebee.com

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse

Monster Hunter Maggie Hoskie is reeling from some personal losses and trying to make the best of things as she waits, hoping Kai, the man she sacrificed, the man she loves, will find his way back to her.

When she agrees to go out on a monster hunt with Hastiin and the Thirsty Boys, things go sideways fast. Hastiin is killed, leaving Maggie responsible for his orphaned niece, Ben. Ben is dead set on revenge and wants to pursue The White Locust. When the Goodacre twins show up and need Maggie's help there's more tension. Rissa is still angry with Maggie and Clive is anxious. It turns out Kai has gone missing, along with their younger brother Caleb. They've been taken by The White Locust. With The White Locust leaving a trail of kidnappings and murders in his wake, and with Kai in his grasp, Maggie is going after him - with or without anyone's help.

Ben also wants revenge for her uncle, and Maggie realizes that if she tries to leave Ben behind the girl will just follow her. Pretty soon, the gang are headed out, towards the wall that separates their world from the one outside, a rougher world filled with threats to those who've survived Big Water.

Storm of Locusts builds on the foundation that author Rebecca Roanhorse established in the first book in The Sixth World series, Trail of Lightning. In case you aren't familiar with the series, most of the world has been swallowed by floodwaters, which wiped out millions of souls. What's left is Dinetah, where the Navajo live, and some parts of states to the south, including Colorado. There have been wars since the flooding, and a wall was erected to keep Dinetah safe; the world outside is anything but a comfortable safe place. Monsters are real, and some Navajo have clan powers, which makes them capable of doing things others can't do. Maggie is one of those people; she's an expert killer. Ben also has clan powers, and is able to track.

With book 2, Roanhorse takes us beyond Dinetah, to the outer world, while still bringing back a few memorable characters and adding in some new ones. Is the monster hunter ready for the horrors she will face? And why does everyone who had any connection to The White Locust seem to think Kai went with him voluntarily?

Events force a separation in the team early on, leaving a crew of bad ass women to venture beyond the wall. They make new enemies and allies as their quest unfolds, but will Maggie and her friends piece things together in time to save Dinetah from destruction?

This book expertly builds the tension and brings in a lot of unexpected elements and discoveries along the way. Roanhorse balances the demands of a series expertly, giving us enough for a satisfying ending, but hinting at what the future holds for Maggie, leaving us already wanting more. A fantastic series that promises that the tension and drama from books 1 and 2 will be sustained in the next book.

Sandra Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan is an author and is editor for Bronzeville Bee (www.bronzevillebee.com/) and Bronzeville Books (http://www.bronzevillebooks.com/)

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: One Small Sacrifice by Hilary Davidson

One Small Sacrifice, by Hilary Davidson, offers an intimate look at PTSD and how it affects a person. War photographer Alex Traynor is haunted by things he's seen and experienced, and Davidson uses her insights and skill as a writer to take you right inside his reality. You feel as though you're about to jump through your skin yourself when a car backfires or a slamming door reminds him of the sounds from the war zones he may have physically left, but can't quite exorcise from his mind.

When his fiance goes missing, he becomes the prime suspect. The thing is, he was the prime suspect in the death of a young woman--a friend of his--who plummeted from the roof of his building a year earlier. Detective Sheryn Sterling is determined to get Alex this time for the crime she is convinced he committed.

There are other questions that need to be answered, however. The father of the woman who died at Alex's building has been convinced of Alex's guilt and is dead set on getting revenge.

Turns out that Alex's long-time friend may have some unsavory motives as well, and as Alex tries to stay in control while being pursued as the prime suspect it seems like he's the only one really concerned about finding the truth and saving his fiance.

There's a lot to like in this story; the exploration of PTSD is exceptional and I found Alex to be understandable and sympathetic. This is, perhaps in part, the reason why I found the character of Sheryn Sterling frustrating.

Initially, I really liked Sheryn. I had a good impression of her family and life ... right until she got a new case involving Alex Traynor. Sheryn had been irresponsible enough in the past to convince the father of the woman who'd died a year before that Alex was responsible, and she has blinders on from the first time she hears Alex's name. She is convinced of his guilt, and at this point became, for me, both a common trope and a source of discomfort. As a POC in the story, I felt uncomfortable with the fact that Sheryn so quickly became unlikable and irrational. And she's largely unchecked at work. Perhaps that was exacerbated by her former partner recently retiring and working with a new partner who doesn't know her and is new to the NYPD as well.

I felt uncomfortable enough to have a conversation with POC I know; I was encouraged to abandon the manuscript. Ultimately, I didn't, because I was interested in Alex's character and the central mystery enough to want to see it through and get resolution.

Without giving spoilers, I will say that I was glad I stuck with the book. It doesn't completely mitigate my misgivings about this particular character. I had the impression of someone who was far more level headed than Sheryn was for much of the book, and as the primary POC in the story it didn't sit well with me. I think we're in an era now where we have to carefully consider the portrayal of race. It might have been more palatable if Sheryn had been trying harder to fight her own prejudices and preconceived ideas. The simple reality is, part of the reason she was so convinced of his guilt (his past and something that happened in a war zone) was so explainable that I'd like to think that a good cop interested in the truth would have realized that at the time, and actually pursued the truth, instead of pursuing the information that they could push into the mold of their theory so that they could charge someone they liked for a crime. That's my opinion; your mileage may vary. Sheryn did grow over the course of the book.

Sandra Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan is the submissions editor for Bronzeville Bee (www.bronzevillebee.com/) and Bronzeville Books (http://www.bronzevillebooks.com/writers/) 

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: The Very Best of Caitlin R. Kiernan

I'm not often drawn to short fiction collections, but reading The Very Best of Caitlin R. Kiernan is like opening a new gift with the start of each story. You may not know who the characters are or the circumstances you face before you begin, but rest assured that Kiernan is a masterful storyteller with original concepts that will both surprise and delight you.

Some stories could be called horror, others would be dark fantasy, and there are wrongdoings peppered throughout. The stories are really vignettes. It's like tumbling through the wardrobe door into Narnia - the worlds already exist, the characters are in motion, events are shaping their destinies or their destinies are directing their choices, depending on how you look at it. And often there's the sense of a dark future still unfolding after the final words. 

"Sticky verdant light spills from her skin and pools in the grass and moss at her bare feet.

"Sink or swim, and so easy to image the icy black well water closing thickly over her sister's face, filling her mouth, slipping up her nostrils, flooding her belly, as clawed hands dragged her down.

"And down.

"And down."

Whether you like to devour short story collections whole or savor them one story at a time, the writing is both evocative and captivating and the stories are anything but predictable. A highly original collection well worth your time.

Sandra Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan is the submissions editor for Bronzeville Books (http://www.bronzevillebooks.com) and manages the content for their zine, Bronzeville Bee (http://www.bronzevillebee.com/)

Sandra Ruttan Reviews: Things Nobody Knows But Me by Amra Pajalic

Amra Pajalic's memoir, Things Nobody Knows But Me, is an unflinching look at the formative years of the author's life. As a Bosnian Muslim who spent time living in both Australia and Bosnia before the war, Pajalic looks at the clash of cultures and customs between the homeland of her parents and their adopted country, and how her own experiences shaped her.

Pajalic writes with brutal honesty about growing up with a parent with mental illness, and how this was handled and mishandled by family, friends, and the authorities. The view in Bosnia was harsh and there was little sympathy or real support for those who had mental health issues, while even case workers and medical professionals in Australia failed to effectively diagnose Pajalic's mother.

It wasn't until Pajalic was a teenager that a school counselor introduced her to the term manic depression, otherwise known as bipolar disorder. 

Pajalic doesn't shy away from the sense of impending upheaval from each of her mother's episodes and hospitalizations. She is transparent about her own frustrations and how this shaped her experiences as a young child, often burdened with household responsibilities that should have fallen to parents.

From incidents of sexual abuse to her first sexual exploits, Pajalic chronicles her life growing up with cultural and religious conflict, as well as the unending cycle of family problems that shaped her life. I had been looking forward to reading this book for a year, since I first heard it was contracted, because I also grew up with a mom who was undiagnosed bipolar until my late teens. I found that, although the geographic location may have been different, there were so many aspects of Pajalic's experiences with her mother than were similar to mine; namely, that sense of waiting for the shoe to drop as you watched a parent spiral towards another breakdown and the inevitable fallout that would stem from it.

I was also fascinated by the chance to reach across cultural lines and gain insight into the perspectives of both Bosnian Muslims in their homeland, and how things evolved once many were transplanted in Australia. Pajalic's tales of courtship with her husband highlight the realities of an older generation holding on to customs that have evolved in the world they left behind, ultimately creating a generation of immigrants who are out of step with their own homeland because they were extracted from that natural cultural evolution.

The narrative flows through Pajalic's childhood and her journey to adulthood and is at time engrossing, entertaining, and shocking. Pajalic is relatable, and whether she's talking about skipping school, shoplifting candy from a story, making out with a boy for the first time, or the fear of telling a parent you dropped the milk, readers will connect with the story of her journey. I was riveted and squeezed in minutes at all hours of the day and night to finish this book, which I highly recommend.




Sandra  Ruttan ©2019

Sandra Ruttan oversees content scheduling and editing for the Bronzeville Bee, which publishes fiction and non-fiction http://www.bronzevillebee.com/ and is the submissions editor for Bronzeville Books http://www.bronzevillebooks.com/