Monday, April 23, 2012


I have been reviewing a lot of books over a lot of years on this blog and never quite had the response I got over my review yesterday of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Presents: FLUSH FICTION--88 Short-Short Stories You Can Read in a Single Sitting.  I am sure there are many jokes I could make about the situation, as could Barry Ergang,for that matter, but I am going to keep my adult hat on and firmly in place. Besides, with my new glasses, I might not find it again if I took the adult hat off.

Hello, reader. Barry here. I'd ask Kevin what his point is, but his hat is covering it.  

Because the review has done so well here in attracting attention, and because the publisher is interested in promoting the book, as one of the authors in the collection Barry has been given the opportunity to give away a print copy of the book. As readers of this blog know, Barry does not have a blog of his own. A home, a dog, a car, but no blog of his own. It is a sad state of affairs, and one that I have tried to remedy as best as I can. As part of my continuing hospitality as required under the Texas constitution for us natives, I have offered to let Barry--a Philadelphia Eagles fan, no less (feel free to shudder--I do)--to hold his contest on my blog. 

I don't have a blog of my own because Pennsylvania's constitution requires that I hang out with a whiny, bespectacled, hat-wearing (indoors? Really?) Dallas Cowboys fan (feel free to gag--I do). 

Heck, if I let that Derringer winner Earl Staggs hang around here and run his reviews, you know I am easy.


“Shut up, Earl. This ain’t about you.  Now that you know where Billy died,  go figure out where Bob died.”

I don't know who Bob is, Earl, but you don't have to take that. Gabby Hayes wouldn't. A crack like that would have his trigger finger feeling "a leetle mite itchy."

Anyway, as I was saying, this deal is about Barry and his contest. Now the rules are simple and don’t require you to read a book, guess the name of a character, or do much of anything. You don’t even have to comment here on the blog and do anything in public. Instead, what Barry wants you to do is e-mail him at

Well, yeah, after you privately dance naked around your living room three times while twirling a freshly-plucked chicken over your head.

Put “FLUSH FICTION CONTEST” in the subject line so he knows this is a contest entry. In the body of the e-mail, put your snail-mail address as well as your e-mail address. That way, when your e-mail address has no resemblance to your name, Barry can figure out the connection. 

Knee bone's connected to the thigh bone....

That is it!

All the names and entries will be put into bowl and the winner will be drawn by Barry with the assistance of his dog, Duncan. 

Sshh! He doesn't know he's a dog, and if you saw how he behaves, you wouldn't think he is, either. 

Entries will be accepted until Midnight Friday night---EAST COAST TIME--- with the winner informed by e-mail (if the e-mail works) and here on the blog sometime on Saturday, April 28th.  

If the e-mail doesn't work, you're obligated to feed and board the Pony Express rider and his horse when they gallop up to your door. If you live in an apartment building or complex, the superintendent is likely to be miffed. 

You must live in the continental United States as the publisher will be sending you the book directly once informed by Barry of your winning. 

A simple contest so get those entries in!

And it took a simple guy and his blog to announce it. 

Who you calling simple? 



Jan Christensen said...

You guys ought to do stand-up! LOL Thanks for the grins. And give me that chicken back, Barry!

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Every now and then I slip my leash and play a little bit. I just have to be careful because I don't want to wake up in a ditch wearing a dog collar.

Barry Ergang said...

Jan, I figure if vaudeville comes back, Kevin and I can kill it off again.

I don't have the chicken, but I might be able to get you a replica of Punxsutawney Phil.

As for Kevin's comments about leashes and dog collars...well, this is a family-oriented blog so I'll spare everyone remarks about his apparent kinks.

Earl Staggs said...

Kevin and Barry, I don't know why you guys dragged me into this, but
I agree with Jan. You two guys should be on the stage. There's one leaving town in thirty minutes.

Before you leave, though, please give Duncan my address. When you two ride off into the sunset, never to be seen or heard from again (wishful thinking there) he can come and live with a REAL writer. He can even lick my Derringer Award if he wants to.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Be careful what you wish for.....