Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Before You Ask For A Review.....

Have some idea of what I review in the first place. It is not that hard to figure it out and should only take you a few minutes if you just read the review titles here and elsewhere. I don't make it complicated. I don't, for example, review vampire books. That should be obvious!

Also, it is a good idea not to start the query with a general salutation about how good it is to see things going so well in my life and because they are that you--- the self published author who must is so proud to be an "indie"---  knows I can give the book a wonderful review as it clearly deserves it.

Look, love your book all you want. I love mine and get that. But, you lose me from the start when you tell me how good it is to see things going so well. 

Things here are pretty bad. I just don't talk about it as much as I used too because it is depressing and seems to trigger some hate e-mail. From what little I have shared in recent months it should be clear that things are not good. You would have known that if you ever bothered to read anything beyond whatever  my ranking is on some reviewer list somewhere. In addition, no matter what is happening here, the reading and review should only be about the book. Linking that with what I had for dinner or the fact that at this point after five frigging days my foot is not any better and may actually be worse is not a good idea.

So, yes, I am annoyed this morning with some amazingly misguided queries. This time I changed the details so as not to point out anyone by name. Next time I may just copy and paste the query in here and use it a a teaching moment how not to ask for a read and review.

And for the love of god and all that is holy--quit writing novels featuring romantic vampires or zombies! If you must write about them then, for the last time, send them elsewhere.


Randy Johnson said...

I know some of the feelings on this stuff. I get people wanting reviews on everything from fat pills to kitchen utensils and everything between.

One disturbing trend started last week. I received three emails in one day with books attached to them(one had two). They didn't even bother to ask me for a review. Naturally those will not get even a courtest read.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

I might do kitchen utensils. :)) I need some new ones. A TV would be nice too. Maybe a DVR.

You know, now that you mention it, I have had several recent emails that same way. I'd forgotten that until you mentioned it.

Barry Ergang said...

One of the things writers learn--or should learn--early on with regard to markets, whether those are book publishers or magazines, is to do the homework and learn what kind of material those markets will consider. You don't submit articles about quantum physics to Dog Fancy, and you don't submit romance fiction to Popular Science.

Clearly, some writers haven't figured out that just because someone reviews books, he or she will read anything sent to him or her. And those who presumptuously attach their books to e-mails instead of querying first are rude and undeserving of a reply from the reviewer, let alone a review.